Coffee-Shop Schmuck -- Roy Blumenthal, Artist-at-Large: 
      Picture of Roy by Dook, used with permission -- Thanks Dook!

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Search Terms Used to Find This Site

These are REAL search terms, and every single one of them leads to my site. I am NOT making these up. And the way they're spelled here is the way they were spelled in the original search queries. Pure, unadulterated, serious search strings.

Search terms for a portion of one day -- 4 October 2005

Here's a nice bite-sized cross section of search terms used to find my site. There were TEN hits that came from "female contortion human knot images video". Is that one person repeatedly hitting my page off ten separate searches? Or are there MANY PEOPLE who somehow are all psychically linked to type in exactly that search term???

Can I make a request? Please stop looking for "Ethiopian pussy", people. There's virtually no difference between pussies of differing nationalities. All pussies are the same. Mostly. With one or two minor differences. I'm sure if you lined up 100 Ethiopian beauties and fucked them all, you'd notice that you tended to prefer a bunch of them, and tended not to favour a different bunch. Just a hunch.

I want to say thank you to people visiting this site. I've recently added Clicksor advertising to this blog, and within a month I earned US$20!!! Thank you! That rocks!!!

I'd like to encourage as many of my visitors as possible to link to this blog and drive even more traffic to the site. So please link here. And I'll reciprocate.

 

Keywords / Page Views / % of total 

1. female contortion human knot images video 10 18.87 
2. ethiopian pussy 4 7.55 
3. prostate milking cum 3 5.66 
4. topless wife gallery posture collar 2 3.77 
5. Sexy photos of Stacy Ferguson 2 3.77 
6. sexy Dolly Parton photos 2 3.77 
7. self licking contortionist 2 3.77 
8. licking her own pussy 2 3.77 
9. nude contortionist 2 3.77 
10. dolly parton fake nude 2 3.77 
 
11. girls milking their nipples 2 3.77 
12. contortionist licks her own pussy 2 3.77 
13. giantess swallowing people 1 1.89 
14. ethiopian sex.com 1 1.89 
15. the reef balloon fetish 1 1.89 
16. bicycle fetish pics 1 1.89 
17. greenside lawyer dating 1 1.89 
18. contortion pussy 1 1.89 
19. women licking their own pussy 1 1.89 
20. kinky urethral catheter pictures stories 1 1.89 
 
21. female contortionists pics 1 1.89 
22. naked contortionist 1 1.89 
23. stacey ferguson nude pics 1 1.89 
24. contortionist porn gallery 1 1.89 
25. CONTORTIONIST PORNO 1 1.89 
26. large labia 1 1.89 
27. contortionist 1 1.89 
28. contortionist licking her pussy 1 1.89 
29. \"self-licking girl\" 1 1.89 
30. free pics female nude 1 1.89 
Total: » 53 100.00% 

 


Search terms from 1 September to 18 September 2005

It's been a while since I looked at my stats. I thought that maybe people had stopped searching for Ethiopian pussy or nude contortionists. But nah. I was delusional. One good thing though is that "Roy Blumenthal" (that's me) came up nine times as a search term!!! That means that people are actually finding my site cos they're looking for me!!! Welcome to those who actually DON'T want Ethiopian contortionists or Dolly Parton's tits. Head over to Coffee-Shop Schmuck, my blog.

Here's some good news. And a huge thank you to those people who click through on ads on this page. I've earned a few cents over $20 from Adult Friend Finder, and I'm about to hit $20 on Clicksor. Yay!!! Thank you!!!! Please continue to click through!!!

In the meantime, enjoy the latest search terms. And ask yourself why?????

 

Keywords / Page Views / % of total 
1. nude contortionist 51 2.54 
2. ethiopian pussy 20 1.00 
3. ethiopian porn 19 0.95 
4. sexy contortionist 18 0.90 
5. nude contortion 18 0.90 
6. ethiopian porno 14 0.70 
7. prostate milking video 14 0.70 
8. contortionist nude 11 0.55 
9. contortion porn 10 0.50 
10. contortionist 10 0.50 
11. CONTORTIONIST SEX 10 0.50 
12. roy blumenthal 9 0.45 
13. contortion nude 9 0.45 
14. large labia pics 9 0.45 
15. erotic contortion 9 0.45 
16. sonofsnake 8 0.40 
17. naked contortionist 8 0.40 
18. prostate milking pictures 7 0.35 
19. lick own pussy 7 0.35 
20. contortionist porn 6 0.30 

 

21. girl contortionist 6 0.30 
22. stacey ferguson nude 6 0.30 
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24. large labia pictures 6 0.30 
25. ethiopian nude 5 0.25 
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27. prostate milking pics 5 0.25 
28. prostate milking stories 5 0.25 
29. sexy contortion 5 0.25 
30. large labia 5 0.25 
31. stacy ferguson fakes 5 0.25 
32. ethiopian tits 5 0.25 
33. giantess growth stories 5 0.25 
34. ethiopian pussy 591 67 5 0.25 
35. video prostate milking 5 0.25 
36. ethiopian sex 4 0.20 
37. wendy\'s sexy nude hot photos 4 0.20 
38. ethiopian sexy girls 4 0.20 
39. jade goodie nude 4 0.20 
40. Ethiopian porno 4 0.20 

 

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Total: » 2,006 100.00% 

 

Search terms from 21 May to 21 June 2005

Hokie dokie. In one month, people searched for me three times to find my site. All the rest are below. Now let's face some facts, ladies and gentlemen... if you're one of the people who contributed TWENTY-FOUR searches using the term "licking her own pussy", you need help. And the help you need is this... you need to hook up with like-minded perverts.

Now please don't get me wrong. I'm a pervert too. And proudly so. What I'm trying to get at is that you need to start dating people who share your... uh... outlook on life, so to speak. Which is why I've affiliated this site to ADULT FRIEND FINDER. It's the biggest dating service for people into casual sex and kink. You WILL find your match there. Sign up now for free, and I'll earn a dollar or so off that. Signing up is free, so exercise your generosity. Sign up now. Seriously. Please do it. I need the dollars to buy a butt plug.

For anyone who got to my site through innocent search terms, you've gotta learn to broaden your vocabulary. See below for hints.

Blue skies
Love
Roy

Keywords Page Views % of total 
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535. ethiopian nude girl pics 1 0.03 
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537. giantess galleries pussy insertion 1 0.03 
538. \"contortionist fuck\" 1 0.03 
539. \"free prostate milking\" 1 0.03 
540. pussy ethiopian 1 0.03 
541. contortionists licking own pussy 1 0.03 
542. ball gag radio contest 1 0.03 
543. \"catheter play\" story bondage 1 0.03 
544. karada knot 1 0.03 
545. TG miniskirt milking 1 0.03 
546. village hat shop - parkhurst women\'s hats 1 0.03 
547. stacy ferguson miniskirt 1 0.03 
548. ETHIOPIAN pussy 1 0.03 
549. free ethiopian pussy 1 0.03 
550. \"ball gag\" therapy 1 0.03 
551. \"milking fetish\" cow 1 0.03 
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553. \"gimme your number and i\'ll call\" in the mall 1 0.03 
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555. \"stomach balloon\" fetish 1 0.03 
556. arty breast photos 1 0.03 
557. prostate massage, pics 1 0.03 
558. SELF prostate milking PHOTO 1 0.03 
559. beaujolais coffee 1 0.03 
560. masturbation and milking the prostate 1 0.03 
561. SWEET ETHIOPIAN PUSSY 1 0.03 
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563. cock bulges 1 0.03 
564. \"female nude contortion\" 1 0.03 
565. shop nude pictures 1 0.03 
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567. Swaziland breast reed dance picture 1 0.03 
568. Nude Contortionist 1 0.03 
569. contortionist babes 1 0.03 
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571. schmuck artist 1 0.03 
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573. nude cheesecakes 1 0.03 
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586. \"stacey ferguson\" porno 1 0.03 
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588. she is a contortion babe 1 0.03 
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591. coffee shop job in london 1 0.03 
592. shapely curvy cleavage 1 0.03 
593. Coffee shop babes 1 0.03 
594. nude models for hire south africa 1 0.03 
595. Mug 1 0.03 
596. large labia free pic 1 0.03 
597. \"The Zone\" \"Rosebank\" 1 0.03 
598. women with big breasts in tight dresses 1 0.03 
599. catheterization pictures fetish 1 0.03 
600. \"prostate milking\" movie 1 0.03 
Total: » 3,532 100.00% 

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Updated 29 April 2005

This is just one day's worth of searches (29 April) that led to Coffee-Shop Schmuck. In today's battle of the search terms, it's "Contortion" 14 and "Prostate" 7! The winner, by a decisive perverted knockout, is... Contortion in the blue corner!!!! Congratulations! Go lick yourself. Don't break your neck, okay?

Total: 44

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  • 2. ponygirl milking 3 
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  • 8. ethiopian girls nude photo 2
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  • 10. nipple stand pics 1

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Updated 14 March 2005

This month, so far, we've got a bumper crop of seriously delightful search terms. I love this stuff. Out of a total of 519 searches, my name has appeared a total of... count 'em... SIX TIMES!!!! Yeehaaa! That's a remarkable 1% of people actually looking for ME! I'm touched. Thanks.

Let's NOT count how many times "contortion" or some variant of that has appeared though! Sheesh. Just cos I call myself a "voice-contortionist" (that's a voice-over artist, if you're wondering).

You may have noticed some adverts for http://adultfriendfinder.com on my site. Please click on them whenever you see them. I wanna make money off this site. And DO sign up when you get to the site. You'll be satisfied. I know you will. Hehehehehehehe.

And do check out my blog. It's Coffee-Shop Schmuck. And you'll find some of my BDSM and polyamory adventures detailed there.

Total: 519

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Updated 26 February 2005:

This is a list of all the searches that led to Coffee-Shop Schmuck in February so far. There would seem to be a load of people out in the cybersphere who reallllllllllly wanna see some hot contortionist action. Here's a business tip for free... learn how to contort, and give yourself a good licking, and make tons of money! Go on! You can do it! Limber up those limbs! 

Total searches: 1 314

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  • 2. nude contortion 58
  • 3. contortion nude 39
  • 4. contortionist nude 29
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  • 578. nipple slip stacey ferguson 1
  • 579. "nude contortion" movie 1
  • 580. confront "has a boyfriend" "serial monogamist" 1
  • 581. "Contortion porn" 1
  • 582. Slave Prostate Milking 1
  • 583. erotic Female contortion 1
  • 584. "Ben Baglio Email Address" 1
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  • 597. "Uncut - Best of 2003" 1
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Search terms used only on 11 February 2005

These are the search terms that led to Coffee-Shop Schmuck today. A total of 39, including repeats. Isn't this amazing? There isn't just ONE person doing a search for "nude flex girl". There are THREE people doing that search.

Look, here's the deal... there's a "comment" field below this entry. If you're one of the people using these amazing search terms, please please pretty please tell us what's going through your mind.

It's anonymous, so noone's gonna know who you are.

I've really gotta know. I mean, "giantess swallowing pictures -cum"??? Seriously??? Wow.

* 1. nude flex girl 3
* 2. cellular telephone nude, or naked pictures weblog 2
* 3. nude contortionist 2
* 4. mezza luna melville 2
* 5. contortionist porno 2
* 6. giantess growth 2
* 7. photos with girls in tight leather trousers 2
* 8. contortionist nude 2
* 9. contortion girl 1
* 10. men fetish catheter 1

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* 11. prostate milking pics 1
* 12. giantess sketchbook of two worlds 1
* 13. slave milking -cow 1
* 14. "cough fetish" 1
* 15. ethiopian sexy girl 1
* 16. roy blumenthal skirt 1
* 17. play stage gagged gags 1
* 18. nude contortion 1
* 19. Hypnotic orgasm movie 1
* 20. contortionist xxx 1
* 21. PUSY PORN 1
* 22. catheter fetish 1
* 23. ethiopian sexy women 1
* 24. prostate milking 1
* 25. "Marc Allen" "millionaire" "results" 1
* 26. Sexy contortionist 1
* 27. sonofsnake 1
* 28. dolly nipple parton see through 1
* 29. zahra's blogspot 1
* 30. giantess swallowing pictures -cum 1

Updated 10 February 2005:

Total searches leading here so far in February: 419

* 1. nude contortionist 26
* 2. contortion nude 22
* 3. nude contortion 12
* 4. catheter fetish 11
* 5. sonofsnake 8
* 6. NUDE CONTORTIONIST 7
* 7. prostate milking 7
* 8. "contortionist nude" 5
* 9. contortionist nude 5
* 10. prostate milking pictures 4

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* 11. erotic contortion 4
* 12. contortionist porn 4
* 13. contortionist bondage 4
* 14. catheter pics 4
* 15. "slave milking" 4
* 16. enema drawings 4
* 17. prostate milking stories 4
* 18. contortionist 4
* 19. prostate milking pics 4
* 20. prostate milking photos 3
* 21. protruding nipple pics 3
* 22. nude contortion pics 3
* 23. nude ethiopian girls 3
* 24. "catheter sex" 3
* 25. Mandy 3
* 26. nipple pics 3
* 27. chantal blumenthal 3
* 28. erotic contortionist 3
* 29. roy blumenthal blog 3
* 30. "nude contortionist" 2
* 31. contortion xxx 2
* 32. contortion girls 2
* 33. erotic milking stories 2
* 34. prostate orgasm pics 2
* 35. female tight jeans pics 2
* 36. contortionist fuck 2
* 37. contortionist nude 2
* 38. catheter bdsm 2
* 39. protruding nipples 2
* 40. contortionist xxx 2
* 41. contortion porn 2
* 42. milking slave 2
* 43. xxx contortion 2
* 44. catheter toy gallery 2
* 45. dolly parton breast pics 2
* 46. bad effects of sexual herassment 2
* 47. tight pants street voyeur 2
* 48. SONOFSNAKE 2
* 49. adult sexual pics with enemas 2
* 50. ethiopian pussy 2
* 51. "Drawing Blood" tied bed gagged 2
* 52. giantess garden (december 2004) 2
* 53. CATHETER FETISH 2
* 54. prostate milking porn 2
* 55. prostate massage by dominatrix 2
* 56. CONTORTIONIST HOT 2
* 57. xxx contortionist 2
* 58. "Flowers" "Balfour Park"2
* 59. ethiopian sexy girl 2
* 60. nude-contortionist 2

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* 63. free erotic prostate massage stories 2
* 64. mummified in rope 1
* 65. xxx contortionist xxx 1
* 66. photos sexy breast of artist 1
* 67. large breast and tight jeans 1
* 68. "Prostate Milking Stories" 1
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* 70. silk kebab recipe with pictures1
* 71. large testicle pics 1
* 72. bondage contortionist 1
* 73. chicken schwarma recipe 1
* 74. "Roy Blumenthal" 1
* 75. "leather pants pics" 1
* 76. protruding nipple pictures 1
* 77. giant protruding nipples pictures 1
* 78. bullwhip lashes for my girlfriend 1
* 79. nude contortionist1
* 80. How to Develop and Profit from Your Creative Powers: Simple Techn... 1
* 81. Peter Prukl 1
* 82. ethiopian nude women 1
* 83. milking breasts or tits 1
* 84. trust doctor sex photos gallery 1
* 85. a song with the words "gimme your number and i'll call" 1
* 86. "manipulative silence" 1
* 87. "nude-contortionist" 1
* 88. nude flex girls 1
* 89. photos prostate milking 1
* 90. large hot enemas stories 1
* 91. tight dresses nipples pictures 1
* 92. catheter female photos 1
* 93. "self licking" girl 1
* 94. porno contortion 1
* 95. contortionist nude female 1
* 96. 100% free ethiopian pussy pics 1
* 97. large testicle photos 1
* 98. mall babes in tight jeans 1
* 99. "tiny breasts" and "pajama top" 1
* 100. female contortionist 1
* 101. ashika 1
* 102. nude female contortionist 1
* 103. protruding nipple photos 1
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* 106. milking women pics 1
* 107. contortion nude 1
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* 109. breasts pics 1
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* 111. ballgag/head harness 1
* 112. milking prostate pictures 1
* 113. erotic sexy contortionist 1
* 114. erotic massage gauteng 1
* 115. ponygirl and nipple milking 1
* 116. woman milking prostate 1
* 117. Nude ethiopian girls 1
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* 130. erotic-contortionist 1
* 131. xxx contortionist 1
* 132. ethiopian pussy pictures 1
* 133. Contortionist porn 1
* 134. contortionist" nude 1
* 135. large mature labia pics 1
* 136. Nude Contortionist archive 1
* 137. bdsm weird ponygirl 1
* 138. contortionist nudes 1
* 139. sensual pics prostate massage photos 1
* 140. bondage contortion nude 1
* 141. bdsm print shop 1
* 142. prostate milking video 1
* 143. large female nipples pics 1
* 144. female nude flex 1
* 145. gallery fetish hairdresser cape 1
* 146. nude Contortion 1
* 147. contortionist erotic 1
* 148. contortionist nude1
* 149. pics women in tight leather pants 1
* 150. fourways south africa car guards 1
* 151. square footage needed for 30 people in a coffee shop 1
* 152. schmuck erotic 1
* 153. self-licking 1
* 154. bondage enema shop 1
* 155. aryan kaganof 1
* 156. vodacom call voicemail directly without ringing them 1
* 157. play coffee shop set up 1
* 158. orgasm on command 1
* 159. Ponygirl corset1
* 160. "erotic contortion" 1
* 161. dolly parton topless 1
* 162. photo contortion nude 1
* 163. coffee company settlement for using actors picture 1
* 164. "Prostate milking photos" 1
* 165. a.s. bayatt 1
* 166. CATHETER, SEX 1
* 167. nude flex girl 1
* 168. CONTORTIONIST 1
* 169. nude Contortionist girl 1
* 170. oran soda 1
* 171. date of birth of mfundi vundla 1
* 172. "milking of the prostate" 1
* 173. catheter BDSM "Photo gallery" 1
* 174. "testicle fondling" video 1
* 175. women who milking prostate 1
* 176. "gimme your number and I'll call" lyrics 1
* 177. "Ben Baglio Email Address" 1
* 178. Stiletto (mob) drops Stilettos Orders 1
* 179. "trainer bras" 1
* 180. Sexy contortionist 1
* 181. prostate milking sm 1
* 182. BDSM prostate milking videos 1
* 183. women bursting clothes giantess fetish movies pics 1
* 184. bdsm pictures site:.za 1
* 185. female contortionist nude 1
* 186. viedge camp 1
* 187. "nipple stand" 1
* 188. pics of girls in jodhpurs 1
* 189. ponygirl steel bit gag 1
* 190. pics women in tight leather 1
* 191. hypnosis script sex breast cat 1
* 192. girl contortion 1
* 193. foot flex nude contortion girl 1
* 194. Cafe de Vincenzo Gauteng 1
* 195. chained labia 1
* 196. wendy's condom in chili settlement 1
* 197. hypnotic orgasm pictures galleries sites 1
* 198. hypnotic breasts 1
* 199. "rasta pics" 1
* 200. contortion sex flex nude 1
* 201. africa pussy 1
* 202. ethiopian porno 1
* 203. kids shagadelic websites for coffee houses 1
* 204. hypnotic nude women 1
* 205. women pumping breast/pictures 1
* 206. Dolly Parton\'s Tits mp3s 1
* 207. coffee shops statistics 1
* 208. BDSM wife collaring ceremony pictures 1
* 209. capetown bdsm 1
* 210. coffee shop paintings 1
* 211. painful milking pictures 1
* 212. heavy metal coffee shop 1
* 213. pictures contortion nude 1
* 214. hypnosis nude 1
* 215. "signs" "weekend alcoholic" 1
* 216. ms fiorentina cruise vessel gallery 1
* 217. ms fiorentina cruise vessel 1
* 218. dolly parton nipples 1
* 219. contortion archive galleries 1
* 220. prostate massage pics 1
* 221. sexy contortionist pic 1
* 222. contortion erotic 1
* 223. Prostate Milking 1
* 224. erotic massage stories 1
* 225. excel letters aaa aab 1
* 226. nipple hard-ons 1
* 227. ponygirl chin bars 1
* 228. dominatrix milking stories 1
* 229. "Uncut - Best of 2003" 1
* 230. "Graphic Design Made Difficult" 1
* 231. Karada Nude Women 1
* 232. topless coffee girl pix 1
* 233. Prostate Milking photos 1
* 234. coffee without tannie 1
* 235. Nude Contortionist 1
* 236. ballgag shop 1
* 237. free catheter pics 1
* 238. "my son the bride" 1
* 239. JB Rivers Hyde park corner johannesburg 1
* 240. medical fetish catheter play 1
* 241. female catheter real photos 1

Updated 30 January 2005:

Here are the keywords used to find my site so far in January. The number on the right of each term is how many times that particular term was used to find my site.

Okay. Own up. Who the heck searches for "gothic artist underwear magician"??? Why? Tell me why?? What are you expecting to find? Seriously! I've gotta know what was in your head!

Total: 717 searches so far in January

  • 1. contortionist nude 36
  • 2. erotic contortionist 20
  • 3. nude contortionist 20
  • 4. sonofsnake 14
  • 5. contortionist 13
  • 6. prostate milking pictures 12
  • 7. nipple pics 12
  • 8. nude contortion 9
  • 9. prostate milking pics 8
  • 10. women blonde size 4-10 tall in thongs and g-string 8

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  • 11. bianca nativel 7
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Updated 23 November 2004:

Okay. I'll bite. Who the hell is Sharon Reeds? And what does she look like naked? And what the heck does she have to do with my site???

(Something I've noticed when I actually run some of the searches using the search terms that lead here is this... Many times, the search leads directly to this page! Which means we're getting caught in one of those insane spirals. This page contains weird search terms. The weirdos USING these search terms KEEP using those search terms, and keep coming to my page. It's out of control, man!)

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To the person who searched for the Orgasm Command Anchor, here are some thoughts. 

It can't be done using hypnosis alone. It's a combination of conditioning, NLP anchoring, AND hypnosis. It requires a willing subject, and quite a lot of hard, hot, wet work between the two of you.

Oh yeah... it also helps if the woman is readily orgasmic. If it takes a LOT of work for her to come, then that means there's extra hypnotic work that needs to be done to lay the foundations for coming on command. This is non-trivial, and you're best advised to be in touch with a trained counsellor before you dabble too much. Can of worms, dude. Beware. You could fuck things up between the two of you.

Use an anchor that involves as many senses as possible, and make sure that it's not something that can be inadvertantly triggered in the wrong setting. In other words, don't use a phrase like, "Come now!", cos that has MANY other applications. Use something like a gesture, and a phrase like, "The journey is now beginning and the steam train is ready to blow." This is a phrase that you can whisper in her ear in a restaurant, and if anyone overhears it, will be relatively innocent. Couple this with a specific type of touch to her arm or shoulder, or ear, or something like that, and you've got a goodie.

One of the guys in the BDSM group I attend monthly reported that he had such a command for his girlfriend. And it worked wonderfully. They broke up, and then bumped into each other three years later. They started chatting, and he remembered the phrase. Said it to her. And blammo. She came right then and there, just like old times.

I haven't yet implemented a post-hypnotic "come on command" anchor... Karen and I stopped being boyfriend/girlfriend recently, so we're not spending that much time together anymore. We're also only in the beginning stages of working with hypnotic suggestion together, and this is very advanced stuff. Requires huge levels of trust, both in each other as humans, but also in the efficacy of hypnosis.

Good luck!

Updated 22 November 2004:

One thing I'm noticing is a recurring search string -- "nipple stand". It's showing up many more times than I've included here... I kinda got bored seeing it so many times. Come on people, you don't need to be Dr Ruth to figure out what a nipple stand is!

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