" You want to do what?" Major Samantha Carter stared at her friend and colleague Dr Daniel Jackson, her face aghast.

" You heard me, I want to throw a surprise party for Jack." He frowned, pushing his glasses further up his scholarly nose. " I scarcely see what all the fuss is about."

" You wouldn’t," said Sam, rolling her eyes, turning to the other person sat at their table in the busy canteen.

" Teal’c, it seems our idiot friend has forgotten what happened the last time he throw a surprise party for the Colonel."

The large Jaffa nodded gravely. 

" Indeed. I tend to recall that DanielJackson suffered a broken arm."

Sam was already nodding in agreement. " And then some. You were damn lucky that Janet was right there to help out." She leaned back in her chair and regarded her friend closely. " And you want to throw yet another surprise party? What is it with you, Daniel? You have a death-wish or something?"

" O’Neill does not like surprises," Teal’c said, stating the obvious.

Daniel Jackson flushed. " It was just sheer coincidence that one of those silver helium balloons burst as he was walking in."

" He had just been released from Doctor Fraiser’s care, something you should have been well aware of DanielJackson."

Daniel nodded glumly. " I was aware of that Teal’c, that’s why I decided on the party in the first place. And it would have worked too, if that stupid balloon hadn’t exploded.

And if he hadn’t still been so stressed from that stupid mission with the singing Jaffa…"

" Oh, God, I had forgotten about that," Sam said softly. " How could I have forgotten that?"

" Forgotten about what?"

They all looked up as both Janet Fraiser and Jack O’Neill joined them, the latter sporting a bruised arm and a disgruntled expression. 

" What happened to you?" Daniel asked, ignoring Jack’s question.

Dr Janet Fraiser answered for him. " Blood donation time." She shrugged and gave an obviously upset Colonel O’Neill a sideways look. " My stock was getting low, so I ordered him to give me more."

" You ordered him…?" Sam looked impressed.

Janet looked smug. " Oh yes. I’m the chief medical officer on this base, and if I want some more blood, I get some more blood, whether our dear Colonel likes it or not."

" I need some coffee." A pasty-faced Jack O’Neill attempted to rise to his feet, only to be stopped by Janet. 

" Stay. Daniel can go for you."

She was gratified to see Daniel immediately shoot to his feet.

" Sure. Coffee and a Danish?" When Jack nodded he sped off.

They sat in silence until Daniel returned with Jack’s tray, all waiting until Jack took his first sip of coffee.

" Better?" Janet enquired.

" Much." He sat back with a tired sigh. " Now, what were you talking about when we walked in?"

" The singing Jaffa," Sam said, watching his reaction closely.

" Gou’ald Carter," he said calmly. " He hadn’t been a Jaffa for years. And his voice was atrocious."

She had to give him credit; his reaction was carefully schooled. She knew for a fact that he regarded that mission to be one of the most dangerous that SG1 had ever undertaken.

He had so very nearly died that day, in fact she had been so sure he had, that sometimes she wondered if he didn’t have his own personal angel watching over him, ready and waiting to revive him if need be.

No, it would have to be an Archangel. Gabriel perhaps?

" Sam…SAM!"

" Huh?" She blinked vaguely at Daniel for a moment, before reality returned with a thud. The canteen, Janet…oh shit.

" Back with us Carter?" Colonel O’Neill’s eyes were kind, understanding.

" Yes sir." She looked around the table, really looked for the first time in a long time at each person, actually seeing them as individuals, like she once had, a very long time ago.

" You know," she said thoughtfully, " it’s criminal how we get to take people for granted." She shook her head slowly. " How quickly we forget." 

Jack O’Neill shifted slightly, making his plastic chair squeak softly.

" We’re getting deep here Carter, a bit too deep if you ask me, but if you’re referring to the Mo’kaba episode, then maybe you’re right. Maybe we should take time out at this time each year just to remember who we are, and what we stand for."

He looked at Daniel, his face serious. " It has definitely got more appeal than one of Daniel’s attempted surprise parties."

Daniel looked down at his empty coffee cup. " I guess you’re right Jack.

It’s just after that mission, I wanted…No, I needed to do something for you."

The older man smiled in understanding. " I know", he said gently, "but a surprise party wasn’t the way to go, trust me."

Janet Fraiser interrupted them. " If you don’t mind me asking, what really happened?" She hesitated, seeing the tight faces of her friends before continuing regardless.

" All I got to see was, well, the end result, and even then Colonel O’Neill proved to be too serious for us to handle, necessitating him being rushed to critical care at Academy General, so really, I know nothing."

Sam looked at her, surprised. " Didn’t anybody tell you?"

Janet shook her head. " At the time it was on a need to know basis, and seeing as the medical section wasn’t needed, I was left out of the loop. When we eventually got the Colonel back, other things were happening, and by then it seemed too late to ask."

All eyes turned to their superior officer, gauging his reaction carefully.

If they were expecting him to suddenly faint and fall off his chair, they were sadly mistaken. He just sat back, his face impassive. 

" Okay," he said slowly, "maybe Doc has a right to know what happened.

Besides, maybe we can put this down as our first psychological thanksgiving session." 

He gave them all a faint smile. " But not here." 

He rose to his feet. " Come campers, briefing room."

…

After a quick consultation with General Hammond, they all settled back into soft chairs in the silent briefing room, each one carefully not meeting the other’s eyes.

There was something vaguely Doctor MacKenzieish about things, as if the psychiatrist himself were somehow involved. When Jack rolled down the shield between the briefing room and the Gateroom with a clatter, isolating them completely, they all jumped, something that wasn’t lost on him.

" Come on kiddies, it wasn’t that bad."

" Sez you," said Daniel, looking at his hands.

Teal’c stirred, staring at Jack incredulously. " O’Neill, I recall one point in those dark days, after our return, in that place of healing, when you wished for me to end your suffering permanently. Although I deemed your pleas to be the ones of a delirious man, and thus ignored you, DanielJackson is correct, the days were indeed, bad."

" Thanks Teal’c." Jack O’Neill sighed, conceding defeat. " Okay, so I’m wrong. That mission was terrible…worse than terrible. But let’s tell Janet what happened from the beginning shall we?"

His eyes swept around the table, alighting on Sam.

" Carter, seeing as this was your suggestion, you start."

:::::::::::::::::

Sam always found stepping onto a new planet for the first time to be invigorating. There was something about finding a different gravity and temperature from home she found intensely, well, almost erotic.

Nah, that wasn’t the word. It was intensely…

" Carter? May we have a direction before you fall asleep?"

Whoops.

" North east sir, through those trees. The UAV survey found massive amounts of Naquadah located in a valley about forty clicks from the gate."

" Oh wonderful." Jack O’Neill rocked on his heels and stared morosely at the tree line.

" What’s the bet that we have to clamber over and under trees for the entire forty?"

" More than likely sir."

She really should have told him that the forest was a small one, scarcely worth getting upset about, but she didn’t feel like it. Letting him grumble for a while appealed to her masochistic mood.

" Come on Jack, maybe we’ll find something good out here. We won’t know until we investigate."

Everyone stared at Daniel, usually the most pessimistic of SG1.

"Danny?" Sam asked gently. " Are you okay?"

He nodded, his smile quick. " Relax people, I’m fine. It’s just, um, I guess you would call it cabin fever."

He readjusted his glasses with a distracted air.

" Remember, I have been stuck in my lab for days decoding those artefacts from H9J P2O that SG2 found last week. After a week of Minoan Subculture, no matter how fascinating I find it, all I want to do is exercise."

O’Neill raised an eyebrow. " Where-o-where has that geeky scientist I used to know gone?"

Daniel snorted. " I think the Air Force killed him and replaced him with Super Daniel mark two."

They all smiled at that, even Teal’c, who actually seemed to understand.

"Then by all means, let us accompany Super Daniel on his quest for exercise," Jack grinned, before abruptly becoming serious.

"Teal’c, you’re on point. Watch out for low hanging branches people." He hefted his pack like it was full of air. 

" Lets go people."

They had been walking for just over an hour when they first heard a man singing.

It was unusual in itself, but what really set it apart from any other first contact was the language the man was singing.

Italian.

::::::::::::::::

Sam became aware of Janet leaning forwards, a surprised expression on her face.

" Italian? Isn’t that odd?"

She smiled at her friend. " Next to impossible, ask Daniel."

Janet turned to a nodding Daniel. " Oh yes. Latin was the language of choice at the time of the Stargate. Definitely not Italian.

" But this was Italian as in modern Italian." Jack interrupted.

He leaned forwards, holding Janet’s eyes. "As you know, I love opera, and most opera is sung in Italian. As a result of this, I understand it quite well."

" Okay," she said slowly, " So someone Italian person came through the gate before SG1 did."

Jack smiled. " That’s what we thought Doc, and boy were we wrong."

Janet frowned. She suspected that Jack O’Neill was deliberately drawing the story out, perhaps in revenge for the blood he had been forced to give earlier.

" And?"

His grin was feral. "Patience Doctor."

Oh yes, he was still annoyed.

" And then O’Neill decided to investigate," Teal’c intoned darkly.

::::::::::::::::::

It was more than any red-blooded opera buff could stand. The voice was still too indistinct to make out. The tune was instantly recognizable. It was…it was…

"O’Neill. Do you wish us to proceed in the direction that you are going?"

Jack stopped sheepishly, aware that he had separated from his companions, the lure of the familiar tune being irresistible.

If Teal’c hadn’t instantly reacted and caught him he would have fallen flat on his back, almost certainly hurting himself.

" Caution is required," he said, steering Daniel towards a grassy patch of ground.

" In more ways than one Teal’c," Jack said, adjusting the strap holding his Armalite. " I really don’t understand how come we’re hearing an earth language hundreds of light years away from earth, and I don’t like it."

" Maybe an SG team has been here before?" Daniel asked.

" No," Jack replied, his voice harsh. "That’s what’s so worrying."

They were getting close now, and he dropped flat, his team following suit.

Slowly they Leopardcrawled through the forest floor until they came upon a small clearing where they came upon a most astonishing sight.

:::::::::::::::::

" I need more coffee."

Ignoring Doc Fraiser’s crestfallen expression, Jack rose to his feet and used an intercom to order five cups of Columbian blend for the people around the table.

Let me tell you why."

::::::::::::::::::::

" My…opp…"

Daniel Jackson stared at Jack in horror as the man grabbed his arm in a strong grip.

" Jack, stay calm. You’ve been shot. Let Sam help."

To Daniel’s consternation, the downed man seemed oblivious to the small bytes of information he was getting, still struggling to tell him something.

" The CD…Danny, Sam, listen. That CD, Verdi… by the Springs Op..opera school. No way…no way it should be here."

He looked up at them, the massive burning pain in his hip ignored for the moment as he tried to impart something of deep significance to them.

" Was in my office…only ten made. There’s no way it can be here, unless…"

Suddenly Daniel stiffened. " Unless… Oh God. Unless we have an infiltrator in the SGC."

Jack grimaced up at Daniel. " Ess," he whispered.

" Check CD… if I’m right, go back to Stargate. Tell Hammond…compromised.

Careful, planet a trap…careful."

He relaxed as the shot of morphine Carter gave him took hold, his voice becoming clearer. 

" Teal’c?"

The big man trotted back with a silver CD in his hand.

" You were correct O’Neill. This device does indeed carry the music of the Colorado Springs School of Opera that you appreciate so greatly."

" I guess this is a message, somehow, by someone," he snorted gently, using Teal’c to regain his feet.

" God Damn it. I knew somebody was up to no good." Hopping painfully, he carefully pushed Daniel away, standing in front of the Gou’ald with a defiant expression.

" What is it about you Gou’ald?" he blazed. "Anywhere else in the universe, anyone gets shot, they die. Why can’t your slimy bunch of snakeheads follow suit?"

Teal’c stiffened. " You know Mo’kaba from elsewhere O’Neill?"

Jack nodded, waving Daniel and Carter away when they closed in to steady him.

" Yep. I have had the dubious pleasure of meeting him before on…God knows what the planet was called. He’s the guy who threw me into the pond and then zatted me."

The ex-Jaffa smiled, casually cleaning a fingernail.

" Indeed. All I wanted were the codes to earth."

His eyes flashed, regarding the hurt Tau’ri who stood before him.

"Luckily for me Lord Sokar had a female Tau’ri whom, shall we say, I inherited after he died, a member of a group who believe that the Tollan should share their technology, as do we.

Her name is Sandra. Do you remember her O’Neill?"

Jack frowned, mentally riffling through his list of NID operatives before finally admitting defeat.

" I can’t say I do," he said slowly. "If I had, she would have been incarcerated on earth like the rest of them."

Mo’kaba carefully walked around the grey haired Tau’ri, closely watching the man who had been so instrumental in the death of his master, Lord Sokar. As far as he was concerned, O’Neill was more important than the Sholva.

" Luckily for me, she hates you almost as much as I do."

He slowly walked over to Carter, his eyes slowly appraising her.

" I wonder, O’Neill, does this one buck as much as mine does at night?"

He laughed as O’Neill took a step forward, his face suffused in rage.

" Try it, Tau’ri, and you will suffer much more pain than at present, that I promise you."

Jack O’Neill took a deep calming breath. They desperately needed information, and could get it as long as this Gou’ald was in a talking mood, as long as he controlled himself.

Glaring a warning to Teal’c and Daniel, he straightened.

" So this was a trap? He gritted. "The entire planet was one elaborate trap?"

Mo’kaba smiled viciously. " Oh yes. We Gou’ald have long memories. You killed my master, and almost killed me. For that you will die slowly."

He turned back to Carter, watching closely as she stared back at him defiantly.

" My slaves brother never told me how beautiful this woman was. I will have to punish her severely for his omission."

" Jack, I think it’s Jenkins." Daniel stiffened as Mo’kaba turned to him threateningly, but continued nevertheless. " Captain Jenkins of SG 7 has a sister called Sandra, a Captain based at Ellis."

His eyes found Jack, wincing at how pale he looked.

" Who cares?" Mo’kaba sneered. " It’s not that you will be around to tell anybody what you have discovered."

He laughed uproariously as a thought occurred.

" I can see interesting possibilities opening up with this…Jenkins."

" Like hell," O’Neill snarled through gritted teeth. " There is no way that…"

" He brought me your precious silver disc of music and the means in which to play it, did he not?"

Jack stared silently at the Gou’ald, feeling sick. He was aware of his team encircling him, giving him support if need be. He was also aware to do anything, to make any move at this time would be tantamount to suicide. So he did nothing, merely glared at their captor and bided his time. The time would come to escape, but it hadn’t come yet.

As long as this Jenkins was allowed to come and go through the stargate as he pleased the base was compromised, and if the base was compromised, then so was the planet. It was imperative that they, or at least one of them, manage to get back to earth and report what had happened to General Hammond.

" Jaffa, Kree."

Numbly he allowed Teal’c to once more support him as they were violently shoved towards the distant Stargate.

:::::::::::::::::

" That is why SG3 couldn’t find you when you missed your return slot. Because you were taken to another planet. Am I right?" Janet asked, staring at them in sudden comprehension.

" Yep," Daniel replied, looking at the bottom of his empty cup with a mournful expression. " Planet anti-Jack."

He looked towards the man in question, noticing how tightly he was holding himself.

" Are you okay?" He frowned as Jack consciously relaxed, giving him a vague smile.

He hated it when Jack did that, acted like there was nothing wrong when he was actually dying inside, or sometimes just plain dying. 

He stared at Janet, sharing his irritation, and was gratified when she silently rose and padded to the nearest phone.

Jack O’Neill couldn’t understand why something that happened almost a year ago was still affecting him so badly. Hell he had been through worse situations than planet pain, although, come to think of it, maybe that was the problem. He could handle pain, but he could not handle others in pain, especially his team. When that Mo’kaba snakehead realised that he was drugged up to the eyeballs and therefore no fun he had started on…

" Colonel. Here, drink this." Jack slowly turned his head to see Doc Fraiser next to his chair, two white pills and a glass of water in her hand. He must have tuned out for a moment because everyone had fresh cups of coffee in front of them as well. Shit.

" You shouldn’t have taken all that blood," he said weakly, aware how lame the excuse sounded.

" Sorry," she said gently. " Here, this will make you feel better."

Iit did. He sat back with a sigh, feeling the sedative begin to calm his jangled nerves. 

" Thanks Janet," he said quietly, aware that his team knew what he had just swallowed, and approved.

" I don’t know why what happened still affects me so badly, although I think I have a pretty good idea…"

" You were badly hurt." Daniel said dryly. " In my book that would be a pretty convincing reason."

Jack snorted. " I’m used to pain Daniel. It’s a sad thing to say, but we’re all used to it. As a team SG1 have been down that road on more than one occasion."

" Tell me about it," Fraiser murmured. " So, if it wasn’t that, then what was it?

" Sam," he murmured, his eyes finding the table. " It’s what they did to Carter that I find so upsetting."

" What?" All eyes snapped to Carter as she sat upright. " Why? I have been through worse that that in boot camp you know. If it doesn’t affect me, it most certainly shouldn’t affect you."

" I don’t think that they shackled you to a wall and stripped you naked in boot camp, and if they did, I want their names and numbers and we’ll have one hell of a trial," Jack said calmly, eyeing his second closely.

She went bright red. " Well, ah, well no, they didn’t. But this time we were on a mission and, well I had kinda expected that my sexuality would be used against me at some point or another, so I wasn’t terribly surprised when it eventually happened. But why does it worry you sir?"

" It made me remember that you are female, Carter." When she frowned he elaborated.

" Usually it doesn’t bother me, us, I guess," he said, looking around the table for confirmation. " You eat with us, dress with us, more or less shower with us…hell I’ve even seen you naked and it doesn’t affect me, because you’re just one of the guys. But that day, on that planet, I saw you as a female of the species, and it almost got me killed."

" Oh God…" Sam stared at her commanding officer as realization dawned. " Oh no. That was why you…Oh God."

An artificially calm Jack O’Neill smiled and nodded to their impatient Medical Officer.

" Tell her what happened Carter."

:::::::::::::

Jack O’Neill had never been so glad to see their final destination as he was that day. Their Gou’ald captor had forced them through the Stargate to an inhospitable planet of freezing marshland, a place far colder than they were dressed for, and when Jack had objected to their rough treatment at the hands of his Jaffa, the Gou’ald had retaliated in singing a mangled version of his beloved Aida for the hour or so it had taken to finally reach what proved to be a huge castle that could have been ripped straight out of earths Middle Ages.

Jack arrived at the massive gate blue with cold and hating Aida with a passion. 

" Come Tau’ri, come inside and die."

Mo’kaba had become much more relaxed towards O’Neill and his team once they had entered his cold and dark world, obviously figuring that there was no longer a threat of reprisal from another earth based team like the last time they had met.

In that he was right, although he would have been furious if he knew that Jack was frantically working on a plan to get them back to the stargate as soon as possible, preferably leaving rubble behind. They stumbled into a huge room, everyone stopping dead as a wall of heat from a crackling fire assaulted them.

" Welcome to my home," Mo’kaba said grandly.

All he needed was the ceremonial shield, Daniel thought, impressed despite himself. Then an unusual large axe-like weapon mounted on the wall caught his eye and he spoke without thinking.

" Is that a genuine broadsword? Because if it is, then it means that the people on this world have evolved somehow along the lines of the middle ages on earth, which would mean that…"

" Daniel." His voice trailed off at Jack’s warning, mentally kicking himself for his enthusiasm. How could he be so crass as to think of things academic when Jack was obviously in so much trouble?

" Sorry." He said meekly.

"That’s okay Daniel," Jack said softly.

" That’s okay Daniel," Mo’kaba repeated in a sarcastic voice turning to the four silent Jaffa who had followed them into the room. What he said to them was fast and incomprehensible, even to Daniel, but not to Teal’c. 

" No." He snared, gently pushing Jack towards Daniel. " The Tau’ri female deserves better than that."

" No?" Mo’kaba reached for one of his guard’s staff weapons and casually pointed it at O’Neill. " You are in no position to argue, Sholva, and if you do, then this Tau’ri that you call your friend will die, slowly. 

Daniel had an inkling about what was to happen, although Jack by his side hadn’t a clue, not until two of the guards grabbed Carter and shoved her onto the floor.

Then Jack understood, an objected vociferously.

" You son of a…" he yelled, his hands tightening convulsively on Daniel’s shoulder as the Jaffa savagely began to remove her clothing until she lay naked under them. " Bastard, you touch her in any way and…"

" You’ll what?" Mo’kaba hissed. " You are in no position to argue, Tau’ri.

None of you are. As it is, I have no intention of taking her."

He gave a wide grin. " Not yet, anyway."

He snapped an order to the guards and they dragged her towards a distant wall.

The male members of SG1 relaxed slightly when the hanging furs were pulled to one side to display iron shackles.

It wasn’t good, but considering the alternative, they could live with it.

" Scum." Carter’s face was bright red, her voice furious as she tested the

shackles.

" You miserable, slimy, no good son of a…"

" Now, now, my dear," Mo’kaba said with a smile.

" Sorry for in inconvenience, but all will be well as soon as your boss gives me the codes for your Stargate, along with every other code he possesses." His smile got wider. " If he doesn’t, well we can easily imagine what a staff weapon shot will do to your fine flesh, can’t we?"

Daniel was the first to speak through the shocked silence that ensued.

" Didn’t Jenkins already give you the codes?"

" Don’t be a fool," Mo’kaba snapped. " I’m aware that only the leaders of your teams know the codes, Sandra was most helpful in that regard, so don’t think you can fool me."

Whether it was some smidgen of loyalty to earth or she was just protecting her brother was a moot point, Jack thought gratefully, more than prepared to take on a little pain if it meant the safety of his team.

" Take her down," he said in a defeated voice. " I’ll tell you if you take her down."

" You’ll tell me now, or she dies screaming," he hissed.

Jack O’Neill was hurt and drugged up to his eyeballs, but had never felt more alive than he did at that moment. Trading a look with Daniel that spoke volumes, he straightened to his full height.

" 570 361 459 4771. Enter that on the GDO strapped to my arm and you have an entrance to earth."

Mo’kaba smiled. " There, that wasn’t so hard, was it?" He approached O’Neill warily, still carrying the staff weapon. " You have this device strapped to your arm?"

Jack nodded, praying that he didn’t check on Daniel, or see Carter’s discarded GDO hidden among what was left of her clothes. " I do."

" Give it to me."

" Release her," Jack said stubbornly.

Mo’kaba smiled evilly. " I could just ask my Jaffa to take it from you, but I have a better plan." Jack watched in horror as he casually walked back to Carter, loosening his tunic as he did so.

" No," he said, his voice a low growl. " I will not just stand here and let you touch a member of my team."

He stared at Daniel, , then at Teal’c, noticing that their sickened expressions mirrored his own.

" Okay", he snapped, thinking hard.

" I’ll co-operate, tell you anything you need to know. Just don’t hurt her."

" No," Samantha Carter was magnificent in her fury. " No you damn well won’t… sir. I will not be the catalyst that leads to your betrayal of earth."

She sagged in her restraints, her face appealing. " Please sir, two traitors are enough already, don’t you think?"

Jack O’Neill knew that it would end this way sooner or later, that he would be put in such an untenable position with no way out. He straightened, feeling the morphine numb any pain, and carefully walked towards where she was shackled, ignoring the astonished Mo’kaba.

" You’re right." He stopped in front of her, swaying slightly and looked deep into her eyes. " Sorry Sam," he said softly. 

He saw confusion in her eyes, slowly clearing as she began to understand.

" Sir?"

He ignored her.

Swirling on Mo’kaba he snatched the staff weapon out of his hands before the Gou’ald knew what was happening, frying the Jaffa closest to Teal’c in an instant.

Teal’c hadn’t been first prime to Apothis for nothing.

He dived at the fallen guards weapon, rolling back to his feet and dispatching a second guard before he could blink.

Unfortunately that still left two Jaffa, and one very pissed off Gou’ald.

Jack knew that he had absolutely no time for Mo’kaba.

Hoping the snake was frozen in place, he whirled to help Daniel.

Daniel, in typical Danny fashion was desperately holding onto the third Jaffa’s staff weapon whilst Teal’c dealt with the fourth, his eyes pleading for Jack to help.

Jack was happy to oblige.

" Danny!"

He saw the sandy haired man dive for cover as he opened up.

" Thanks Jack," he yelled, just before Teal’c sent the last Jaffa spinning away.

" Okay kids…"

The snap of something breaking and Sam’s scream came simultaneously, along with the most excruciating pain he had ever felt in his life.

" Oh, sh…"

Jack stared down numbly, his mind not comprehending what he saw at first.

It was wedge shaped and shiny, and large, and it was sticking out of his chest. Whatever it was, hurt. Badly. Suddenly he couldn’t breathe properly and had no strength. None. He fell to his knees; unaware of two simultaneous staff weapons blasts impacting next to him.

" Jack… Colonel?"

She was beautiful, with creamy flesh and light brown nipples and for the life of him he couldn’t understand why she would want to paint herself red.

" Hold on, okay?"

He felt her prop him up against the wall and saw her hands reach over him and take something from someone. A medical pack?

Suddenly everything snapped into focus, and he moaned slightly.

" Thank God he was already drugged," Carter’s voice murmured softly. " That lessened the shock somewhat. Nevertheless…" She looked up at someone.

Daniel.

" Daniel, I need you to go back to earth, as quickly as you can. Take a staff weapon with you, just in case you encounter anybody out there. Tell General Hammond we need people here. We need Janet here. I can stop the bleeding, I think, but he’s been hit with an axe, and there is no way on this planet he can make it to the gate."

Daniel swam into view, crouching down to look at him. " A Broadsword, yes.

Hang in there, Jack." His hands were cold on his cheek.

" Sam, what if…?"

" Teal’c will guard us. Now go."

Jack heard Daniel leave with a clatter, smiling slightly at the noise he made. Typical Daniel, he always clattered around them, exasperating them all with his clumsiness. Until it mattered, and then he was as quiet as a ghost.

" Sir?" His smile was obviously worrying her, and he allowed it to fade.

" It’s okay Carter, I’m still here."

Someone, probably Teal’c, had given her his jacket. It was way to big for her, but zipped up like that it looked like one of those mini dresses they invented for those fashion shows.

" Nice getup," he whispered. " Would cost a thousand dollars if you bought it in Paris, betya."

She smiled, some of the tension leaving her face.

" You think?"

" Oh ya. Chic mini dress with army boots? Thousand five hundred minimum."

…

" Bastard."

The voice seemed to come from everywhere, causing Teal’c to whirl around in confusion, trying to find a target.

It was Carter who figured it out.

" Up there."

She pointed upwards with an urgent finger, Jack’s gaze numbly following to where she was indicating.

" A small balcony."

" You killed him, you bastard."

The woman was small with shaggy light brown hair and seemed to be armed with an rifle.

" I loved him, you bastard," she screamed.

For a moment Jack wondered to which one of them she was screaming at, then a bullet twanged into the furs next to his head.

" Teal’c," Carter hissed. " Hurry, she’s going for the Colonel."

" I am on it, Major Carter," his deep voice replied.

But for Jack it was too late.

He saw what looked like a wasp heading straight for him, then darkness.

…

" A Wasp?" Dr Janet Fraiser asked Colonel O’Neill. " Really?"

" Uh huh," he said calmly. " Another reason why I don’t like remembering what actually happened. I have been in the military for decades, but that was the first time I actually saw the bullet that was destined to get me. It was only for a fraction of a nanosecond, but nevertheless in that brief second I regretted not being able to say goodbye."

He stated everything so dispassionately that it was very apparent that he was drugged. The real O’Neill would never display his feelings thus. The real O’Neill would already be hiding behind witty wisecracks, unable or unwilling to face what had happened head on.

This artificial O’Neill was an eerie one.

Sam Carter stirred, deciding to match honesty with honesty.

" I thought you were dead," she said quietly.

" The bullet impacted so hard, snapping your head sideways with a hollow thud."

She shrugged, struggling not to cry.

" For a moment there I thought that you were dead, that she had got a clean head shot. It was only when I saw the gouge behind you that I realized what had happened. The angle had been too acute for accuracy. Yes, she had managed to shoot you in the head, but all she had managed to do was fracture your skull, the bullet ricocheting off the bone and into the furs.

" Luckily I have a hard head," Jack muttered.

She shook her head.

" No, an inch to the left and you would have been gone. No, I’m certain you have an Angel sub-contracted to look after you."

He raised an eyebrow. " Sub-contracted?" he asked.

" Hey, this is the twenty-first century," she replied with a smile.

Everyone’s sub-contracted nowadays."

" Okay. Just as long as he fills out form P 109, releasing us from any Indemnity should anything happen to him, then it’s okay with me," O’Neill said, making them all laugh.

He stretched in his chair, making it creak in protest.

" So, on behalf of Dr Janet Fraiser and myself, who was now out of it, what happened next?"

" Teal’c demolished the balcony," Carter said. All eyes turned to Teal’c. 

" I was somewhat annoyed," the dark man explained. " I believed O’Neill was already destined for Kheb, the land after death. She had no reason to take out her anger in such a manner. I too heard the report; I too saw O’Neill go limp and feared the worst. After that I was not willing to take any more, as you would say, shit."

He glanced around the table at his smiling team. " I was also aware that Mo’kaba had at least six Jaffa as personal guards and we had only dispatched four."

Their smiles faded.

" Daniel?" Janet asked.

" Never saw them, thank goodness, which was wonderful, because all my concentration was centred on getting to the Stargate in one piece. Remember people, it was an inhospitable marsh out there, and it was close to midnight to boot."

" I don’t remember, " Jack said. " All I remember is squashed and mangled Verdi on the way in."

He was rewarded with more smiles.

" So this is where I came in," Janet said. " The stargate activated and suddenly a muddy figure was screaming that the Colonel was dying and could the General whip up a medical team and some heavily armed Jarheads ASAP."

" I never said Jarheads," an embarrassed Dr Jackson muttered. " I said SG3."

" You didn’t," she said evilly. " I distinctly recall you said Jarheads."

…

They were interrupted by a clatter at the door as a delicious smelling white covered trolley was wheeled in, accompanied with three personnel from the canteen staff.

" Begging the Colonel’s pardon," a female sergeant said, " But General Hammond ordered us to deliver food to you."

For a moment Jack O’Neill stared at them blankly, before whipping up his wrist.

" Good grief, do you realize we have been in here for over six hours?"

Doctor Janet Fraiser took over. " Please tell General Hammond the Colonel says thank you, and please tell Lieutenant Lewis that I would like some more Salytosan sent up as well."

That got Colonel O’Neill’s attention. " That’s not for me, I trust," he scowled, "I gave up on chemicals in the seventies."

She wasn’t fazed. " Don’t worry Colonel, it’s just a mild relaxant, you’ll be fine."

" I’ll bet," he muttered, but didn’t push the matter.

…

They ate in companionable silence, with O’Neill silently taking more of the mild sedative she had prescribed, much to Janet’s relief.

" So, what happened then?" He eventually asked, as Daniel and Carter stacked the empty dishes back on the trolley.

" Mayhem," Daniel said darkly, sitting down with a thump.

::::::::::::::::::::

" We need a medical team and the Jarheads, quick."

General Hammond already knew that SG1 was overdue, and consequently, when SG1’s signal was received from another destination than the one they had gated to, had already put SG3 and 8 on standby, just in case.

" Woah son, steady."

" Son, tell me, clearly and concisely, what has happened."

For a moment Daniel was speechless, before common sense won out. There was no point in others gating blindly to what could be a potentially hostile planet.

So he took a deep breath and did as ordered.

"And you’re sure that it’s Captain Jenkins, son?"

Daniel nodded his eyes hard, the soft scientist nowhere to be seen. " Ninety percent sure sir." He shrugged, watching anxiously as SG8 carried a metal stretcher to the foot of the ramp. " Can we go now sir?" 

When he nodded, Sergeant Simmons set the Stargate in motion.

…

Major Samantha Carter had been getting seriously worried. It didn’t take a genius to see that Colonel O’Neill was fading fast, that without intensive medical help he was not going to make it back alive, so when she heard distant gunfire, it was the sweetest noise she had heard in years.

Within minutes, the room was filled with people, and the Colonel was on his way home.

:::::::::::::::::::::

" And that’s it," Sam said, smiling at her friend. " One Colonel was scraped up and carried home, where he was immediately rushed to critical care at Academy General Hospital.

" Where he stayed for a month, and started complaining about that after a week," Daniel added.

" And that is also the reason why, if you would ever care to look, Teal’c’s room has a massive broadsword mounted in pride of place," Jack said, smiling thinly at the Jaffa.

When Doctor Fraiser looked at him for confirmation, Teal’c nodded. " O’Neill is correct. You yourself will understand that such a weapon embedded in such a wide area of flesh must stay in place until removed by a qualified person.

So it was the case with O’Neill."

Janet sat back with a thump. " Oh, so that’s what all the commotion was about. We had both the patient back - and the weapon used."

" Yes," Daniel said, " and all of SG3, to a man, wanted that broadsword."

" You know," Jack said idly, picking at his fingernail, " If I had been conscious instead of semi cleaved in two, no one but me would have had that sword. He gave his dark skinned friend a long look that was magnificently ignored.

" As you have so succulently phrased it in times past O’Neill, tough."

Teal’c sat back in his chair looking smug.

" Doctor Jackson had no need of the weapon, SG3 had no right to that weapon, and you, O’Neill were in no position to object. After a while I merely made use of the nine tenths law."

" Huh?" Everyone turned to Daniel for an instant translation, but he was as puzzled by Teal’c’s convoluted logic as they were. 

It was Colonel Jack O’Neill, drugged up to the eyeballs and feeling very happy, who deciphered what Teal’c meant before anybody else, letting his head thump onto the table in reaction and scaring Janet half to death.

" The nine tenths law Teal’c? As in possession is nine tenths…?"

The Jaffa nodded serenely. " Indeed."

" Oh God." His voice came in a wail, muffled by the desk, making everyone laugh.

" So that’s it Janet," he said, leaning back in his chair with a sigh.

" That is the end of the story, on how the tough intrepid Jack O’Neill met his nemesis, learnt how to hate Verdi, runs a mile when he hears a wasp, and still to this day cringes when he has to use an axe."

He turned to his team, his smile still in place. " Now, if we’re finished here, I think General Hammond would like to see some of us before morning,  don’t ya think?"

*Einde.*

BETA Tested By CiGiK

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