Disclaimer : Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author.

Hi Biltong.  Jack's family as it exists in my stories is totally my own invention. You are welcome to use the characters, just please acknowledge them in the notes when posting the fic. (AND I'd love to see a copy.)Wow, my first South African contact. Didn't even know they showed Stargate there. I'm in the U.S. midwest, the state of Wisconsin.

Mary the Badger

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All HAIL! to Badgergator who introduced us to Jack’s brother Joe, a brother 11 months younger than Jack. Joe is the splitting image of Jack, (They have been mistaken for twins in the past), with the added advantage of having zero demons - He is a Priest.

I have a fun idea. What would happen if Joe turned up at the SGC unannounced, and a inefficient guard LET HIM IN.

Not as difficult to believe as you think. He had to sign in. It doesn’t take great intelligence to realize that a book faced towards any visitors complete with pen and a place to sign is asking people to sign it in a rather emphatic manner.

This he does, as J O’Neill.

See where I am going with this?

Now the fun part. His shift almost finished for the night, the guard is tired. No one besides General Hammond knows that Colonel O’Neill even has a family, let alone an almost identical brother.

THE GUARD DOESN’T CHECK HIS PHOTO ID.

Sure, a court marshaling offence, especially in places with such high security, but there are mitigating circumstances, as his lawyer would explain later in court.

But enough of that, back to the SGC.

Dear Joe, not knowing procedure walks on through. He is dressed as a civilian, so no one salutes. Like many people, he is loath to ask anybody for help, he’d rather wander around for a while and hopefully strike it lucky.

This he does.

Wandering into the open lift he is greeted by the cheerful operator at the start of the new shift. If Colonel O’Neill is coming into work, then he is going to level 14, where his office is located. This button he presses with a cheerful nod.

Joe notices that a lot of people are calling him sir, but passes it off to politeness, his experience of the air force is limited only to his estranged brother.

When the lift stops at level 14, Joe gets off, now feeling a bit lost. His independence streak is waning fast, and he really should find someone and ask. He is beginning to regret this spur of the moment decision to visit his brother, but dammit, he is family and family should stick together, especially after the death of their father.

Jack needs to be told this, if he can ever find him.

When a klaxon goes off and a tannoy announces ‘incoming travelers!’ - he heads towards

the disturbance only to see the most incredible sight he has ever seen.

A wall of horizontal water, somehow enclosed in a ring. And people are coming through this water, but they aren’t wet. Taking a step back in surprise, Joe gasps softly, alerting a heavily armed soldier, who immediately turns his weapon on him with a surprised oath. Joe stands stock still, horrified beyond belief as the marine calls out to people hidden in some kind of control room.

" Colonel O’Neill? Ah, I need you sir."

Joe noticed that the soldier’s face is confused but his hands are steady. Then it is with relief that he hears his brother’s voice.

" Joe. What the HELL are you doing here?"

We start our story from here.

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Jack dropped his feet to the floor with a thud. He was bored, and SG1 was in downtime due to Daniel Jackson still recovering from the near drowning he had on PGX 499. It’s not that he didn’t have things to do, like reports to finish and such, it’s just that he couldn’t keep his attention on anything for any length of time.

He muttered unhappily, pulling Carter out of her intense concentration of mysterious computer things.

" Bored sir?" He pinned her with an unhappy stare.

" Ya think?"

" I love to be left in charge of an entire base while the General goes gallivanting off somewhere, leaving me strict instructions to oversee you and SG6 do wormhole computer doohickeys. I have things to do, a base to run, and yet, here I am, watching you play with said doohickeys. And, boy, have you ever lived up to my wildest expectations."

To her credit, Carter didn’t look upset at his extra heavy dose of sarcasm, irritating him no end.

" Well you didn’t need to be right here at ground zero." She had him, she knew him too well. His eyes widened and he straightened up on his chair.

" Ground zero? Ground *zero*? Who are you kidding? Ground zero would be exciting." He waved his arm around the control room. " *This* is not ground zero. That is ground zero." He pointed at the stargate.

"That, major, is ground zer.."

And froze.

"Huh?" Carter looked at him in confusion for a moment before she heard Airman Ricoh’s voice.

" Colonel O’Neill? Ah, I need you sir."

She knew that he was fit, but even she was surprised at his speed. He literally hurdled over her entire computer bank and then over the stair railing in seconds, landing lightly in front of a gray haired civilian who looked just like...oh my gosh...himself.

The computer and its crucial calculations forgotten, she slowly rose to her feet, staring. This was just too weird.

Jack O’Neill didn’t know what to do. A man of action, he wasn’t used to being frozen to the spot. But here he was. Joe was his only brother, sure, and until recently he hadn’t seen enough of him. He didn’t know whether to be pleased to see him, or horrified that he was here in one of the most secure rooms in the US Military unaccompanied by a guard.

Eventually he broke through his paralysis.

" Joe, what the HELL are you doing here?"

The stranger raised one sardonic eyebrow and regarded his brother through hazel eyes.

" Visiting. Good to see you too, Jack."

Jack swallowed audibly. Oh man, this was bad. No one on the base knew that he had a family, and that was just the way he liked it. Now everyone would know within ten minutes knowing the Cheyenne Mountain grapevine. He sighed. He had been in worse situations, been shot and such like. This should be a piece of cake right? Well airman, get to it.

" Hi, Joe." Dark brown eyes bored deep into hazel ones, oblivious to the fact that they were the only real difference between the brothers. Then they noticed Airman Ricoh still watching Joe closely. " Its Ok Ricoh. I’ll take it from here."

Carter interjected. "Tell SG6 that we will resume the test tomorrow at 08H00." The man nodded, and with a last lingering look he left them alone.

Jack briefly shut his eyes, realizing that Carter was patiently waiting for an explanation. The day was going from bad to worse, and at light speed. Ok, nothing to it. What was done was done.

" Major Carter, meet my brother, Joe O’Neill."

" I didn’t know that you had a brother." Her voice was soft, incredulous. It was worth it just to see her face.

She looked as if she had taken a powerful body blow, and he couldn’t help rubbing it in. " Yep, Joe is my younger brother."

Sam was valiantly trying to hang in there. " Your younger brother, not your twin?"

O’Neill shook his head, his eyes darkening..

"No, my younger brother. He just looks like me, and I bet I now know why he is here without an escort."

Joe raised an eyebrow, just like Jack would, and she shivered. " I should have had an escort?"

" Oh most definitely yeah. How did you get in?"

" I signed the book and walked right in."

" I bet you got sir’d a lot." Sam muttered, getting rewarded with a flash of stony brown eyes

" And nobody stopped you?" Jack was almost grinding his teeth together.

Joe shook his head.

" Nope."

O’Neill looked furious. " Well, they should have."

He turned to Carter. " Major?"

She nodded, knowing full well what he wanted. " I’ll see to it sir." Identical brother or not, the mere fact that he made it unaided to the gate room was a serious breach of regulations, something that had to be investigated thoroughly.

" Where will I find you?"

Jack almost said his office, but changed his mind at the last minute.

" Canteen."

" Yes sir."

Sam eventually handed over the case of the identical brother to Major Simon and her MP’s, but not until after a long explanation. It had taken an even shorter time than Colonel O’Neill suspected for the scuttlebutt to go round the base that the Colonel had an identical brother that had come to visit.

Without an escort at that.

She rapidly briefed Simon before reaching for the base phone to call Daniel and Teal’c. There were some things that had to be shared, and two O’Neill’s in the canteen at the same time was definitely one of them.

She was lurking outside the extra full canteen when they eventually arrived.

"Hi Sam, what’s up?" Daniel was his usual academic mess, hair everywhere with a pencil stuck behind one ear. "You said it was urgent?" His voice was still hoarse from his immersion on PGY 4XH

"Indeed." Teal’c raised one impassive eyebrow.

She nodded.

" It is. And it is in the canteen. All two of them," she said cryptically.

Daniel and Teal’c exchanged brief glances at her obscure comments before pushing open the canteen doors, only to stop dead. She sidled in next to them, trying to get a good look at their faces.

She wasn’t disappointed. Teal’c was a bit more impassive than usual, but Daniel, well Daniel made up for Tealc’s lack of reaction in spades.

" What the..Who is.." He turned and grabbed her arm. " Sam, is that his..Brother?" His voice ended in an incredulous cough, making her frown. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. Too late now.

" Yep, Daniel." Colonel O’Neill had noticed them and was waving them over. She had to almost push the still weak Daniel to their table, but eventually they were seated. Once she got up close, she could see the differences between the brothers.

Jack had deep stress lines etched into his face, a testament to the life he had chosen to live.

He carried himself erect, decades of military life having beaten good posture into him and, most telling, he had dark and fathomless brown eyes, behind which a multitude of demons lurked.

Joe, in contrast, had a face etched with age, nothing else. He slouched slightly and had clear benign hazel eyes that seemed to look out on the world with infinite patience.

Jack O’Neill knew that sooner or later the rest of SG1 would join them, hence his last minute decision to take Joe to the cafeteria. Although, in hindsight, it seemed to be a mistake. From the amount of people ostensibly finishing off cups of coffee he knew that they were the star attractions.

He breathed a silent sigh of relief as his team sat down. He wasn’t one for small talk, something that Joe seemed to excel at. Now at least he could use them to give himself a break.

" Major?" He raised an eyebrow enquiringly and she answered immediately, they knew each other so well.

" Major Simon has taken the gate sentry into custody."

" I didn’t mean to get anybody into trouble." Joe’s voice was soft. He was clearly upset.

" It’s not your fault, sir," Sam said slowly. " But the fact that you just walked into one of the most secure facilities in the country needs to be looked at."

Jack looked at his brother, so alike but so different inside.

" Hey Joe," his voice was gentle, " we’re soldiers here. All of us, well," his eyes rested on Daniel and Teal’c,

"almost all of us. And rules and regulations must be obeyed at all times."

Joe shook his head slowly. " That didn’t use to be the case with you," he murmured, making the other members of SG1 want to know to what he was referring to with an intense pang.

" It is now Joe."

His voice was mild, like he was talking to Daniel.

" Now I follow rules, and so do others. They can’t be broken, do you understand?"

He looked deep into his brother’s eyes and was eventually rewarded by a brief nod. Good grief no wonder he liked Daniel from the word go. He had been subconsciously seen Joe in the younger man.

" I understand, Jack. But if you don’t mind, I’ll pray for the poor man."

Jack couldn’t help grinning. Here comes the kicker. He had wondered just how to fit this into conversation.

" Sure, Father O’Neill, go right ahead."

Dead silence.

Carter, to her credit was the first to recover.

"Father O’Neill?"!

Joe wasn’t stupid. He knew something was going on and tried to defuse the situation, inadvertently making it worse. " Yes child?"

Carter couldn’t answer, all she could do was look at him - aghast.

Daniel was even worse, he looked as if someone had done some real damage to his nervous system.

Jack was trying real hard to keep his grin from showing.

Oh yes, this was worth it. He was bought back to Earth by Teal’c.

Teal’c had been silent up until now. He could not understand why O’Neill had never told them about his kin member, but from what he now understood, this man was a member of one of the Tau’ri religious sects.

He shifted uncomfortably on one of the tiny Tau’ri chairs and spoke:

" O’Neill. Does this sect not allow your kin member to be a warrior and fight at your side?"

Jack looked at him in horror. " Nope. His Tau’ri religion most *definitely* excludes him from taking up arms." He briefly eyed his confused brother. " Well, in this century at least."

Teal’c frowned, still not happy. " You say his religion, yet he is your kin. Is your religion not the same?"

"Well, ah.." Jack was completely floored.

Joe answered for him, vainly trying to find out who this large black man with the gold tattoo was. " His religion is the same. It’s just not as strong at it is within me."

He sighed, a sad sound.

"Four years and seven months ago he told me that there was no God. I am still waiting for the day when he realizes his mistake."

Jack closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. Four years and seven months. Trust Joe, who had only seen Charlie once, to know precisely how long it had been since the funeral.

" I was lost, and angry. I struck out blindly and hurt a lot of people that day, you being one of them, I’m sorry."

The younger O’Neill was looking at him with an enigmatic gaze.

" I forgave you a long time ago. It’s about time you forgave your self as well."

Jack gave a non-committal grunt.

Daniel had been listening silently. He was still finding it difficult to breathe, hence his unusual quietness. But now he was bursting with questions.

He coughed, clearing his lungs and getting their attention.

" Danny. You should be in bed." Jack’s voice was full of concern.

" And miss this? Hell no." He winced at his choice of words, causing Joe to smile.

" How did you get here?" Joe raised a sardonic eyebrow and Jack briefly shut his eyes. Oh shit. He was sarcastic, but Joe had his masters. Uh oh, here it comes.

" How did I get here? Um lessee." Joe held up his hand, ticking fingers off. "Car, Airplane, Taxi, feet."

Daniel just looked at him for a moment before turning to the elder brother.

" I need coffee." His voice was a plaintive wail.

O’Neil nodded. They all needed coffee, but not here. There were things to discuss that needed immediate addressing, and they shouldn’t be doing it in such an exposed place.

He rose. " Come on Kids, briefing room."

Sometimes it was nice to have the 2IC of the Stargate project as your senior officer, Daniel thought, as he sank back into a comfortable chair in the briefing room, nursing a truly delicious cup of coffee.

Colonel Jack O’Neill was a unique man, and despite their obvious similarities, Joe was turning out to be someone entirely different, but just as solid and dependable it seemed. He wondered if Jack had other brothers he had never spoke about, and someone should break the tense silence that hung over the room.

" So, Joe, how many more O’Neill’s are there in the world that Jack has never spoken about?"

He ignored the glare that Jack gave him. He should be ashamed for not telling them about his family. At least he had one, unlike himself. Daniel repressed a shudder at the bad memories he briefly dredged up and listened to Joe’s answer.

"Daniel..isn’t it?" The light brown eyes looked at him enquiringly, and Daniel nodded.

"Typical of my brother for not admitting that he has a family outside of here."

He gave Jack an glare - causing the man to look at the floor, something no one had ever been able to do effectively before now.

" Well Jack O’Neill, it is time to acknowledge your family." Joe turned back to Daniel.

"Jack is the oldest, followed by me, Susan and Patrick. As you may gather, I am the priest in the family."

Jack’s voice was soft. " And Susie and Pat are Chicago police officers." His team looked at him in surprise.

That was the first bit of information, ever, that Jack had volunteered on his family.

Joe nodded, holding his brother eyes in his steady gaze.

" Quite right. Two cops, one priest and a soldier. Your typical Irish family."

Jack raised his eyebrow. " Not quite. You’re missing the ex-con."

Joe’s voice was soft. " We almost didn’t." Something impossible to read flashed between the brothers.

"So now what?" Two gray heads turned to Major Carter, one answered. "Now we have a problem."

O’Neill leaned back in his chair raking his hand through his short hair.

" Joe, what did you see in there?" his brother was not slow.

" In that room?" When they all nodded, he answered thoughtfully.

" A circle filled with water, somehow suspended on the wall. Two armed soldiers walking through the water. You and the Major here in the glass booth one level off the floor." Joe paused.

" Mind telling me how you got the water to stay like that?"

Jack’s smile was weak. Shit. Trust Joe to take everything in - in one glance. He was totally oblivious to the fact that he himself did exactly the same thing, and this ability had kept him alive on more than one occasion.

His eyes caught Major Carters. She understood, he could see it in her eyes. They looked tragic, feeling for him.

What he had to do now was something he really didn’t want to do, but he had no choice, none at all.

Ignoring his puzzled brother, Jack leaned back and looked at the ceiling, trying to find the words, but how do you tell your brother that he is about to be arrested for trespassing in a top-secret area? The people sat around the table became silent as they became aware of the tension emanating from him.

Shit and double shit. With a shudder he rose to his feet and reached for a phone.

As expected, Major Simon was available immediately. Hell, he wouldn’t be surprised if she was outside guarding the door with a fully armed group of SF’s by her side.

" Jack?" He became aware that Joe was trying to get his attention. "What’s wrong? What did I do?"

His eyes swept the members of SG1 before settling on Joe. Would they understand? Major Carter did, he was sure. Teal’c was as impassive as usual, but he would not react well to him having kin arrested. On Chulak family was everything. A quiet word would bring him around, however. The problem lay with Daniel, and Joe.

They were looking at him with almost identical expressions of puzzlement. Dammit, was this the reason why Daniel Jackson became his best friend? Because he so reminded him of Joe?

He shook his head. Now was not the time for close personal reflections. He had to harden his heart and tell them what he was doing, and quick, before Simon arrived.

Daniel felt his heart squeeze into a tight ball. Jack’s face had become an expressionless mask, allowing the military robot to take over. He knew from experience that this was not good. He was capable of doing anything in that mood, even order people to their deaths if need be. If Jack was facing his brother whilst immersed in his military persona, then Joe was in deep trouble. He shifted uncomfortably in his chair.

" Jack?"

But O’Neill’s voice was cold. " Butt out Daniel."

He saw Daniel subside back in his chair, looking unhappy. There would be hell to pay later, but he had no choice, none whatsoever. He shut his eyes briefly, gathering his thoughts, then faced his brother.

" Joe, I have called the military police in to escort you to a holding cell until we can ascertain just how badly your unauthorized visit has hurt the stargate program." The clipped military words seemed to help.

He ignored his brother’s stunned face, tasting copper in his mouth. " You will be held there until Legal Services decides what to do to you."

Then, and only then, once the terrible words were out of his mouth, did he look at Joe. " I’m sorry Joe," he whispered, " but I have no choice."

Daniel sprang to his feet.

" Yes you do." He looked frantic. "Oh God Jack, he is your brother. You can’t do this to him."

Jack sat back in his chair, looking defeated, allowing Carter to step in to help him.

" Daniel, he has no choice."

Daniel was determined not to be mollified.

He was a champion of the underdog, and he felt that Joe badly needed his services.

" Jack. You don’t need to do this. Surely there is some other way. Some, I don’t know, some regulation that can help him? "

His heart sank as Jack slowly shook his head.

" Sorry Danny boy, but there isn’t." He shut his eyes, despairing. " None whatsoever, Daniel."

Then Joe spoke up.

" It’s OK, Daniel. This is all my fault."

His smile was rueful as he looked at his pale brother.

" I should have called ahead, let Jack know that I was coming. I didn’t, and now have to pay for my error."

He rested a gentle hand on the younger mans arm, calming him.

" It will be alright, God willing, everything will turn out OK."

There was a brief silence as each person in SG1 grappled with the realization of what working for the Air Force really meant, before Major Simon opened the door. Thankfully she was alone.

" Sir, will I need restraints?" Jack was on his feet instantly.

" Dammit Major, no you will most definitely *not* need restraints. If it was me, you would need restraints, but the man in question is my brother, and a Catholic Priest."

Joe looked at his brother in surprise.

" You would try to escape? If it was you in restraints, you would try to escape?"

Jack nodded. "Sure." His face was dark. " I don’t take too well to confinement."

" Why?" he asked innocently, ignoring the approaching Simon. Daniel looked on interestedly,

"You may as well tell him Jack, after this he won’t be around to talk to for a number of years."

O’Neill ground his teeth together. Having one do-gooder in the room was enough, but two was one too many.

" My demons stay mine thank you very much."

Joe stood in front of Jack, and waited patiently until the older man raised his eyes to meet his.

" One day I will see you in confession. Just you me and God." Jack gave him a thin smile.

A new voice interjected itself into the room, the voice of Major Simon.

" Begging your pardon sir, but why not now?"

Both O’Neill’s faced her with puzzled glances. " What’s that Major?"

She shrugged. " Sorry sir, its just that my boyfriend’s a Catholic and he says what goes on during confession can’t be..."

Both Jack and Joe were slow on the uptake, but not so Daniel and Carter.

"Alright!" Carter sprang to her feet, slapping Simon’s shoulder excitedly. "Brilliant! Use the confessional!"

Both she and Daniel were grinning like hyenas, making Teal’c, who was completely out of the loop, to look on bemusedly.

" What is this Tau’ri confession?"

Joe, with the beginnings of a slow smile on his face answered the confused man.

" It is a method in which a man confesses his sins to a higher power, in our case God. Once he has confessed his sins, the priest who sits in with him, with Gods help, can absolve all sins confessed."

He looked at the mysterious man, instinctively trying to explain in the simplest terms the act of confession.

" I am a priest of God, in the service of the Catholic Church, the same church my errant brother belongs to. If he were to choose to confess to me his sins, I would welcome him with open arms, knowing that exorcising his demons would be the most fantastic thing I could help him with."

He looked around the room at the expectant faces.

" The act of confession should never be used as a means of passing on information that cannot be told to anyone else."

Daniel and Carter nodded, suitably chastised.

" However," Joe continued, smiling slightly, " anything my brother says whilst in the confessional, like about this base, that too cannot ever be repeated by myself to any living being on earth."

Teal’c raised one ebony eyebrow.

" Does the Tau’ri priest mean any living being in the universe?"

Joe looked understandably confused.

Daniel quickly stepped in.

"Yes Teal’c. He means that as well. He just doesn’t have all that information yet. Jack will tell him the rest of it during confessional, won’t you Jack?"

The man in question was leaning against the wall looking for all the world as if he was having a heart attack.

Daniel, who knew his background better than most, deftly steered him to a chair.

" Jack?" Jack O’Neill was slowly shaking his head, his eyes dark as he swam with his bitter memories.

" Danny, I can’t do this."

" Why?"

" Because I can’t."

" Frightened?" Daniel goaded.

Much to everybody’s shock, their commanding officer slowly nodded.

"More so than I have been in my entire life."

Daniel looked at him sympathetically.

" So, just talk about the stargate program and get out."

Jack shook his head slowly. "I could never do that. Joe would never allow that."

He looked up at his concerned team, his eyes almost black.

" No, if I do this, it will have to be all the way." He took a deep breath.

Sam hunched next to him. " Sir," she said softly, " the alternative is for Rachel to take him to lock up and charge him."

She put her hand on his arm, feeling the cords of muscle trembling under his skin. He was more than frightened, he was terrified, she thought in shock.

" Sir," she continued, " no one can order you what to do, we can only, as your friends and fellow team members, tell you that we will be with you all the way, no matter what happens."

O’Neill snorted gently, a bit of color coming back into his cheeks as he made his decision. He faced his brother silently for a moment before speaking.

" Joe, are you ready for this?"

Joe nodded, his eyes warm. " I have been ready for years, since you let one out to bite me at Charlie’s funeral."

Jack nodded, hiding the swift pain that leapt out at him. He had struck out blindly that day, at many people.

Not all had been as forgiving as his brother.

Sighing, he rose to his feet. "OK kids, let’s do it."

He ignored Daniels inappropriate shout. If Daniel knew the stress caused by what he was asking him to do, he would not be so happy..

Major Simon snapped to attention.

" Sir, may I escort you to the chapel?"

O’Neill waved his hand.

" Sure, seeing as I have no idea where it is."

He ignored the shocked looks on the others faces. If he was going to do this, he may as well be truthful now.

The chapel happened to be on floor nine, quite a few floors above the stargate, and quite a respectable chapel it was.

Jack stood in the middle looking round at the silent pews as Joe and Daniel took the resident priest to one side to explain things to him.

He felt numb, as if he was about to be executed, and couldn’t help but stare at the small curtained off booth in one corner of the room, the confessional.

Then Joe was taking his arm. "Ready?"

" Not yet."

O’Neill turned to Major Simon. " This is a direct order. I want a guard on the outside of this door. No one may enter until we are finished, is that clear?"

Simon nodded. " Sir."

Now for SG1. He looked at them all gathered uncertainly at the back of the chapel. " Thanks guys, but I’ll take it from here."

Father Joseph O’Neill stepped forwards, donning the garments he had been lent. " No he won’t. Colonel O’Neill is no longer in charge, I am."

"I’ll take it from here."

He looked at the members of his brothers team, concern etched on all of their faces and wondered if Jack even realized just how blessed he already was. His voice was gentle. " It will be OK people, I promise."

With lingering looks at their Colonel they all trooped out, Teal’c lingered.

" Do you not need a friend and warrior to stand by your side?"

Jack’s smile was tight.

" Thanks Teal’c, but no. This I must do alone."

Then they were gone, and he was alone with his brother, his confessor.

"So now what?"

Joe looked at ease and Jack hated him for that. Even hundreds of miles away from his home, in a strange chapel deep underground in a top secret Air Force base, Joe still looked at ease.

" Now, you confess."

Jack was steered into one side of the confessional and the curtain whisked shut behind him. As he was trying to make himself comfortable on the small chair, he heard his brother enter and sit down on the other side.

" Jack, do you remember what to do, or was your last confessional too long ago?"

Joe’s sarcasm was evident, even through the black painted mesh that divided them.

Jack snorted refusing to be baited.

" Here goes, little brother." He felt a momentary glow, remembering how much Joe hated to be called that.

Slowly, falteringly, he stumbled through the half forgotten litany, his mouth beginning to dry out at what was sure to come.

Hopefully he could keep things simple, but he was beginning to doubt that he could. Joe was too perceptive, too much like him. Nevertheless, he could talk about the stargate program, thus protecting his brother from harm.

He took a deep breath, surprised to find out how much his body needed it. Here goes..

" Joe, what you saw in the gate room was not a wall of horizontal water, it was a worm hole, a gateway to other planets in the universe.."

He spoke for over an hour, offering up information, clarifying things for Joe when he didn’t understand, telling him about the horror that was called Gua’old, and the atrocities they had perpetrated. Then he regaled his brother with some of his many adventures.

He was beginning to relax, to enjoy himself, and then everything came to a screeching halt.

" Jack, why did you take the first Abydos mission, knowing that you probably wouldn’t survive?"

He hesitated, the silence becoming strained. Dammit. Joe knew why.

" Charlie." His voice was a sigh, nevertheless, Joe heard.

" Charlie?"

Jacks voice was dripping with sarcasm. "Yeah, Charlie, the son I killed. Remember him?"

Damn him.

"Why did you go to Abydos, knowing that your feelings were still so raw?

Jack gave a humorless bark of laughter.

" Joe, I went there to die. I couldn’t die by my own hand, so I went there to die." His voice was lost. "I never expected to survive."

Joe’s voice was gentle. " Nevertheless, you did."

" Only because Daniel wouldn’t do what he was told."

"Then you must thank Daniel. He was the Godsend that saved you from the abyss."

" He didn’t save me from the abyss, I’m still there." He was horrified at his words.

Somehow Joe knew of his horror and understood.

" Only in your mind. Your soul isn’t in the abyss. Your soul is here, with you. It shines from your eyes, especially when you look at your friends. You are hurt, and they protect you, and in return you allow them a glimpse of your soul, and they love you for it."

He sighed softly, imploring his older brother to understand.

" If you allow yourself to believe, then you will see your soul shine as well."

Jack was shaking his head, his voice raw.

" Oh no Joe, you’re wrong. The things I’ve done, the people I’ve killed.."

His voice trailed off into a whisper. He expected his brother to be shocked into silence, but Joe bounced straight back.

" The people you killed. Did you enjoy it?"

Jack sat bolt upright on his chair, his face a mask of anguish.

Dear God, did his brother think so little of him that he would actually think that he had?

" Don’t be stupid," he snapped, " It was necessary, them or me."

" Then why do their deaths weigh so heavily on you?

" Because they do, because I’m like that. I care."

" Then why did you do it?"

" Because if I follow orders, just like you do, only, my orders are a little more...audible," he added snidely.

He heard Joe take a deep breath, a patient breath.

"And now, in your fight against the Gua’old, do you still take life indiscriminately?"

Jack suffered a brief flash of anger.

" Joe, I have never *ever* taken a life indiscriminately. The Gua’old are a race of parasitic snakeheads. They burrow into your head, and remove your soul as efficiently as a surgeon with a knife. What is left, after they have taken over is malicious, subverted and downright cruel."

Joe started back as his brother unconsciously slammed his hands into the dark mesh dividing them.

" Gua’old call themselves gods. They are false gods. They take great joy in crushing what is beautiful and free, leaving perversion and pain behind to fester day by day, until the people know nothing but fear and death, or, even worse, a living death as a host."

His voice was bitter.

" I have been so close to being a host, to serving them and no other and I fear being that close again, but I must fight, every friggin day, and yes, kill if necessary, if that means the end of every Gua’old in this universe."

Joe was thoughtful for a moment, arranging his thoughts, aware of the harsh breathing of his brother next door.

" Why do you say the Gua’old remove peoples souls?"

Jack’s gave a hollow laugh.

" Little brother, what is a soul?" He continued softly before Joe could answer. " I was to led to believe that ones soul is thought, reason..."

Joe continued softly, " Mind, will, heart and spirit. The soul is all of these things and more. The body may perish, but the soul endures."

Jacks voice was barely there. " The Gua’old take all that away. They destroy mind, will, heart and spirit. I know. I have seen it. And they are coming. They are coming here, to Earth. That is why I kill. That is why I fight..."

" That is why you suffer." A shocking thought dawned. " Jack, God is not punishing you."

Silence.

" Jack. God is *not* punishing you."

Jacks voice was miserable. " I wouldn’t know, not really. It’s not that He ever speaks to me. And I carry around all these fears..."

" Such as?"

For a moment he didn’t think Jack was going to answer, then was rewarded with an anguished sob.

" Fears that others could go the same way as Kowalsky. Die as horribly as Henry Boyd, be enslaved like Shau’ri."

Joe listened breathlessly, not knowing what Jack was talking about, and not caring, just pleased to find that Jack has a kink in his heavy armor.

" But Jack. What happens to others is not your choice."

Jack’s shadow shook its head emphatically. "That’s where you are wrong. They are my team. I am responsible..."

" Up to a point. Remember Jack, they chose to follow you. They chose to fight alongside you. You can be responsible for them out there, but you can’t lead their lives for them, nor protect them from death should it come early."

A moan came from the dark booth. " I can try."

" You won’t succeed." Joe deliberately gentled his voice. "You won’t succeed anymore than you did with Charlie."

The moan turned to anguish. " It should have been me. I should have died that day. Not Charlie."

" But then, who would have been around to fight the Gua’old. Who would have led SG1?"

Joe was rewarded with silence, and pressed on.

" Everything we do in life is done with help, a guiding hand, if you like. God had a plan for you, as he did with Charlie."

The voice was bleak. " I will never, ever be able to forgive myself."

" Nor should you, just cut yourself some slack." He hesitated. " Can I quote you something Jack?"

He felt his brother stiffen.

"What?" His voice was suspicious.

"None of that heavy God stuff, just a quote from Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8."

" Oh?" The voice was heavy, doom laden and Joe smiled. Jack had always hated his religious quotes. Being so similar in looks, people had sometimes mixed him and his war-like brother up, much to Jacks disgust, especially when people thought Jack had been quoting from the bible. As a consequence, he had never managed to get himself Jack and a bible in the same room together at the same time, until now.

"You’ll like this," he said softly, " It’s almost as if it was written especially for you."

He settled back on his chair and allowed the words to flow….

" There is a time to kill and a time to heal,

a time to weep and a time to laugh,

a time to mourn and a time to dance..."

He hesitated, a question forming on his lips.

"When was the last time you danced Jack?" he asked softly.

There was no reply from Jack.

Sadly he continued.

"There is a time for war and a time for peace."

The brothers sat in silence for a while, Joe content to let Jack make the first move. Eventually it came.

" Oh for crying out loud." The husky words delivering the familiar phrase squeezed Joe’s heart.

" Mom used to say that."

" I know," came the whispered reply.

" She called for you, at the end. You never came."

" I wanted to, but I was so sick myself.."

Joe straightened, concern overriding his anguish at the old memories.

" Why didn’t you tell us? What happened?"

" The war with Iraq happened." Jacks voice was lost, and Joe ached for him.

" What happened Jack? Tell me."

There was no reply.

"Please Jack."

His plea, so rarely asked, brought forth a small wounded cry, like an animal caught in a trap.

Then the wounded animal from so long ago slowly crawled into the light, and told his brother everything, every horrific detail.

Atrocities that he had never told a living soul, Things that he had even denied to himself had happened, lying to even himself because of the scars evident on his body, and in his soul were too terrible to acknowledge.

He told his brother, his confessor, everything, every little suppressed detail came pouring out of him, like a reopened festering wound.

And Joe painstakingly cleaned it for him, allowing nothing to stay behind and fester anew. And thus, unburdened at last, the man called Jack O’Neill leaned forwards and wept, years of anguish streaming from his eyes and very soul.

Hours later, when Jack had eventually cried himself out, a slightly less traumatized Joe remembered a poem that had struck him deeply when he was younger. He cleared his aching throat carefully.

" Jack. Remember these words when you are in the deepest part of the pit, when the only way out is up. They were written on a basement wall in the city of Cologne. The house over which it stood was destroyed by allied bombers in World War Two and the fate of the mystery poet was never known."

Stillness meant that he had his brother’s attention.

" I believe in the sun, even when it is not shining,

I believe in love, even when I do not feel it.

I believe in God, even when he is silent."

"Believe Jack, and He will never desert you, and He will be with you every step of every journey on every planet."

With that an exhausted Joe sat back in his dark cubicle and closed his eyes, exhausted.

Dr Janet Frasier had arrived back at the SGC after a relaxing weekend away with her daughter Cassie. Within ten minutes she was wishing she were still there.

The whole base was tense.

People were carrying out there jobs as flawlessly as before, but were doing it with a strained bright-eyed look.

It didn’t take her long to find out why, and to make her way rapidly to the corridor where the Chapel was located.

Only to stop dead.

The corridor had been turned into an armed camp.

" Daniel?" She saw his light brown head turn towards the sound of her voice and wave her over.

" Daniel, I heard."

His smile of greeting was strained. " You and all of the SGC by now, I’m sure."

She was a petite woman, and felt completely dwarfed by the four large military police officers that were on guard next to the closed chapel door. These were in addition to the MP’s that were stationed at the end of each corridor. Danny, slouched against the wall, looked totally out of place.

She nodded towards the door. " Will they need my help, do you think?"

Daniel smiled weakly and coughed. " Haven’t heard gunshots yet.." He straightened his shoulders. Actually, I haven’t a clue. They have been in there most of the day though, and this worries me."

Frasier tried to make light of the situation. " Maybe they’ve escaped," she said in a loud whisper.

The MP’s ignored her.

Daniel grinned slightly. " Can you picture our illustrious Colonel Jack O’Neill crawling through the air vents above a Chapel situated about two miles underground?"

They looked at each other with genuine smiles on their faces. The mental picture depicted did seem a bit ludicrous.

" So maybe he has a heap load of sin?"

Daniel’s smile disappeared. " I know he does. Well," he corrected himself, "I know that he thinks he does. Besides, he must tell his brother about the SGC."

She frowned. "For a couple of hours? It isn’t *that* interesting." Something occurred to her. " By the way, where are Sam, and Teal’c?"

" Um," he said vaguely, scratching his head. "Yes." Teal’c is after coffee for me, and Sam is with Major Ferretti, running the base. With Jack out of the picture for a while, they are the most senior people on duty today."

Dr Frasier nodded slowly. Quite right. With SG3 offworld, they were.

" And what’s the story on the MP’s?"

Daniels face tightened. "Jack’s idea. He told Major Simon to guard the door until they came out. It seems that Simon took him very literally." He coughed unhappily.

She looked at him in concern.

" Daniel, are you taking your medicine?"

She knew that he hadn’t by the way his eyes slid around the hall guiltily.

" Go and take them. You’re still recovering, and antibiotics must be taken regularly."

She smiled at his reluctance to move, wondering for the hundredth time if Jack O’Neill knew what a good friend he had made in Daniel.

She pushed him gently.

" Go. I can hold the ‘fort’ for a couple of moments." He nodded and sped off.

Leaning back against the wall, she wondered about the complex man that was Colonel Jack O’Neill.

Daniel thought he had a grasp on what the Colonel went through in Iraq, but he had only half the information.

She knew more about his traumatic history than anybody besides General Hammond, and she wondered just how well his brother was taking this knowledge.

Not well, she bet.

"Dr Frasier?" Talc’s voice at her shoulder made her jump a foot in the air. Even the MP’s looked startled at his silent appearance, even thought they should have gotten used to him by now. The former first prime of Apothis had this silent cat-like way of walking. The same type of walk that Colonel O’Neill had, come to think of it.

Unconsciously, her eyes strayed to the closed chapel door.

" There has been no activity from within for some time, Dr Frasier."

Teal’c somehow managed to make the question into a statement and she shook her head.

Teal’c frowned and put Daniels cup on the floor.

" Danieljackson has endeavored to explain the complexities of this confessional to me."

She raised her eyebrows "And?"

He looked upset.

"Why would a warrior wish to unburden himself to another in such a matter?"

She smiled at him. " Because he can."

The big man was still looking unhappy, making her wonder precisely what Daniel had told him. She took his arm and steered him away from the MP’s, struggling for words.

"Teal’c, we Tau’ri have a belief that a problem shared is a problem halved. Colonel O’Neill is luckier than most because his religion allows him the sanctity of the confessional, not that he has ever taken advantage of it before now, I’m sure," she said thoughtfully.

Janet looked up at the intently listening man.

"Teal’c look at it this way. When you have a problem you go and visit your family, or Brae’tac. Or even ask the Colonel. Sam comes to me, or Daniel. Daniel speaks to Sam, or again, the Colonel."

She shook her head.

" Even I have a support group of friends that I can rely on in a crisis. Somebody that I can talk to, to unburden myself on, someone who can lighten my load. Jack O’Neill has no one."

" He could come to us." She turned as Daniel rejoined them.

" No he can’t. His problems are deeper than you could ever imagine, deeper than you would ever want to know, and he is forbidden to talk about them by the very organization that gave him the problems in the first place."

She jerked a thumb at the door.

" In there he is safe from harm, and so is his brother. What is said during confession can never be repeated. It is inviolate. Hopefully Jack’s brother is capable of listening to him without judging him, and the Colonel emerges a better man."

" If he ever emerges," Daniel said darkly, reaching down and fishing his coffee off of the floor.

"Thanks Teal’c."

Janet smiled at his attempted pessimism. An eternal optimist, he didn’t do a good job.

" Daniel, he can’t go anywhere. He is unarmed and..." she stared at him hard. "He is unarmed, right?"

She heaved a sigh of relief when they both nodded.

" Ok, he is unarmed, and holed up in a chapel with some, honkin’ big guards stationed outside the only exit, to coin a phrase from the man himself. He is going nowhere."

They grinned, then simultaneously jumped when the chapel door opened with a clatter.

" Jack, Colonel, O’Neill."

The man in question didn’t look so good, nor did his brother for that matter.

Janet, who had never seen them together before, felt her jaw drop, before regaining her equilibrium at great cost to herself, she was sure.

They immediately clustered round the men. " Are you OK?"

They were both gray faced, but unsurprisingly both nodded. She growled under her breath. Jack’s stubbornness was obviously an O’Neill trait, not just unique to him.

" Yeah right, Sirs. Both of you, Infirmary, now." She nodded at Major Simon.

One brother looked at the other. " Domineering, isn’t she?"

Jack O’Neill smiled. " Always, but I don’t take it personally." He made a grand gesture.

"Doctor Janet Frasier, meet Father Joseph O’Neill.."

She gave a quick bow, noticing how they were both swaying slightly on their feet.

" Charmed, I’m sure." She herded both men towards the lift. "I prescribe thorough checkups then food..."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

General Hammond always returned from one of his Washington meetings with some feeling of trepidation.

Hell, truth be told, he could return from being away for one night and still wonder what his 2IC had been up to whilst he’d been gone.

Its not that he didn’t trust Colonel O’Neill, it’s just that the man had this annoying habit of getting himself into trouble, even when stuck in a totally secure base deep underground.

He was thus pleasantly surprised at the calmness and orderliness that greeted him when he arrived.

True, the gate guards were being extra thorough with checking him in, but that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing now, was it?

Once he had put his briefcase into his office, he went in search of coffee, and Colonel O’Neill.

His gray head wasn’t hard to find.

O’Neill was in the canteen, his head bent studiously over a...chessboard?

Hammond frowned. Not that he would mind, but this was neither the time nor the place for his 2IC to be playing chess. In fact, he wondered why the colonel was even attempting to play, considering that his partner was no other than Doctor Daniel Jackson.

Jackson always managed to wipe him off the board in a couple of moves, something that always managed to irritate the Colonel greatly.

As Hammond got closer, he realized there were some abnormalities.

Colonel O’Neill seemed to be winning, and to make it more unusual, both players were dressed in civilian clothes. He saw red.

" O’Neill," he snapped. " What the hell is the meaning of this civilian attire?"

Daniel Jackson shot to his feet, dislodging some chess pieces, which O’Neill calmly placed back in their positions.

Then he raised his eyes to meet the General, and Hammond knew that he really needed that cup of coffee. Right now.

" Who the hell are you mister?"

The splitting image of Colonel O’Neill, except for the eyes, raised one eyebrow.

"Father Joseph O’Neill. And I assume you are General Hammond?"

Hammond didn’t answer for a moment.

"Jackson, get me coffee. Now."

The man frantically waved at the canteen staff, allowing Hammond a moments reprieve.

" I am. Where is Colonel O’Neill?"

The priest, Jacks brother, for goodness sakes, leaned back and looked up at him calmly.

" In his office, I believe."

Hammond grunted, accepted the proffered coffee and spun rudely about on his heel.

" Stay there" he ordered.

He was out of earshot before the amused "Yes sir" came back.

Hammond took great delight in seeing the real Colonel O’Neill jump as his door slammed open.

Without waiting for his second to scramble to his feet, General Hammond sank into the nearest chair.

This was going to be an interesting day, he could feel it.

" Ok Colonel, give."

"…and good afternoon to you too General…" said Jack.

Colonel Jack O’Neill, looking more at ease than General Hammond had ever seen him before, leaned back in his chair, searching for words.

" Well sir, it all started when Major Carter referred to the control booth as ground zero.."

***Einde*** -

beta tested by CIGIK

Sent on Richard Dean Anderson's birthday (Which for those who don't know is 23rd January) in the hopes that he has a brother that cares as much for him as Joe does for Jack.