=======================================

"How can you listen to this stuff?"

"Easy," JJ said. He half leaned out of the comfortable lounge chair and regarded his best friends butt. Slightly on the chunky side, and with a wild afro, Leo wasn’t the sort of friend JJ would ever had picked for himself had he had a choice, which just went to show how strange life could be.

"You have crap taste," Leo said, his voice muffled. He had his head stuck deep inside the CD cabinet in his usual quest for good music.

"Really crap taste."

John Junior O’Neill - JJ to his friends - put down his cola and smiled down at Leo.

"It has depth and meaning," he said. "It transports me to places I want to go, and calms my soul." He tapped at the Bochelli CD in his hand. "This, for instance, keeps me sane in an insane world."

"If you insist," Leo said, backing out carefully.

"I insist," JJ said.

Just how sane was debatable, he thought, but definitely saner than he had been seven months ago and pre Leo.

A brown hand carefully took the CD from him and replaced it on the rack.

"But it’s in Italian," he whined, making JJ laugh.

So? You have a problem with foreign languages?

"Yeah," Leo said. "Like they’re not American.

"You xenophobic now?" JJ asked mildly.

Leo snorted instead of answering, his head once more deep inside the CD cabinet.

"Geez," his voice said. "This is really bad. Have you never heard of the word modern?"

"I want modern I play your stuff," JJ said placidly.

Leo groaned in reply and backed out of the cabinet again, trying and failing to look disgusted.

"All you have are opera songs, classical junk, and one or two ancient jazz records. Some roommate you are."

"So sorry," JJ said placidly, having had this conversation before. It almost always ended with Leo finding the Pavorotti and la-la-lahing to it in a loud voice.

"Yeah well, it’s gonna have to be Lucy again," Leo said once more diving into the cabinet.

JJ stared at his friend, noting just how lanky he had become in the past few months, as had he, he guessed. Dark of skin with quick green eyes, Leo had been his life saver, his best pal and had the added bonus of being definitely as smart as he was.

"This is wasted on you if you don’t speak Italian," Leo said, backing out triumphantly, CD in hand. His quick eyes flickered. "Or do you?"

JJ smiled at Leo, refusing to answer.

"Probably do," Leo muttered to himself, sliding the CD into the slot.

"Hey, you don’t have to speak Italian to like Italian music," JJ said defensively. "Nor any other language either for that matter."

"Sure," Leo said. "But it definitely helps." Pavorotti now lustily singing of lost love and opportunities, Leo was again riffling through the collection, his face pursed as in distaste.

JJ knew that it was an act. Leo lived opera just as much as he did, which really confused the neighbors, all of whom made it their civil duty to see that both he and Leo had enough food and went to bed early enough, much to their disgust.

"You like Christina Aguilera, right?" JJ asked, the name, now so familiar, rolling off his tongue. "Jennifer Lopez, Enrique Iglesias?"

"Sure." Leo said finally giving up and plopping down on the sofa next to him. "And don’t diss me about hows one is Spanish and the other Italian and we can unnerstand neither, yet we can still unnerstand the soul, Dawg, cos if ya do, I’m gonna pop your dome and eat those super intelligent neurons myself."

"Oh please, do you mind?"

"Not at all," Leo said smugly, stealing the cola from his hand

JJ regarded Leo closely, irritated by his misuse of the English language.

"Do you actually like annoying me? Is suicide your thang now?"

Leo stretched and finished JJ’s drink.

"JJ," he said in impeccable English. "You know as well as I do that suicide was always your thang, never mine."

…

The statement hurt, but JJ knew that Leo was correct

Suicide had indeed been his thang.

Twice now he had tried to end it all, but for him, it had been backwards. First the older him, the distant not him any more… had tried. The distant him had failed, thank God.

And then it had been his turn, and like the distant him, it had taken a quiet young man with a super IQ to pull him back from the abyss yet again.

His own version of Daniel. Who would have guessed?

The world had changed in the past year. Yet some things stayed constant.

…

A sharp rap to the forehead made JJ roll off of the sofa with an oath.

"You okay in there JJ?" Leo asked cheekily, extending a hand.

"Just thinking," JJ said, smiling at his roommate, a Golden Labrador in human form called Leo Marko.

"About?" Leo asked, his green eyes cautious.

"About that day and how you were the one to find me."

"Ground Zero day?" Leo asked. "You thinking about that day?"

"Yep," JJ answered. "Ground Zero day, when my one life ended and another begun."

JJ had started to call it that during the intense psycho sessions he had had to attend afterwards, and now they both did, because Leo had had to attend some of the sessions as well, because he had been the one to find him, and that much blood on the snow had been a traumatic thing, even for a 17 year old with the brain of Einstein.

"Deep stuff," Leo said. "But it took Ground Zero and everything that happened to finally allow those Jerks to see you for what you were – lost."

Leo had no idea just how true that statement was, JJ thought.

"I mean, what are the odds of you being just like me?" Leo continued. "Two genius’s in one class?"

"Very remote," JJ murmured, unless somebody very senior somewhere underground made it happen.

"Yet it happened," Leo said with a grin. "Out introduction sucked though," he said, his grin fading.

"We were introduced?" JJ said lightly. "I don’t remember that."

"In the snow," Leo said. "Whilst waiting for the ambulance. Don’t you remember?"

JJ shook his head, thinking hard. All he remembered was the aching hopelessness.

"I guess it’s not surprising," JJ said with a sigh. "I mean, you were almost dead." He gave JJ a quick smile. "Only a Marko child could be so well bred that he would introduce himself before dialing 911."

"Thank God you did," JJ said. "If you hadn’t reacted the way you had…"

"You would have been dead for sure," Leo finished, shuddering slightly.

…

JJ O’Neill was not like any other 17 year old, thanks to an alien called Loki.

She…it had made an exact copy of the original, and that thought had eaten away at him for months.

Was he merely a husk? Or, because of what he knew, was he even better than the original?

The problem was larger than just being duplicated. Bigger than most people even suspected.

Because Jack’s body wasn’t all that Loki had copied. She had copied Jacks brain as well, and all the information he had carried inside that grey head had been copied too.

All of it.

Memories that even Jack had a hard time keeping buried were faithfully copied and stuffed into the copies grey matter, memories that would keep him up for months to come, his frail 16, soon to be 17 year old body wracked with tears, crying over memories that weren’t even his anymore. To make things worse, even more complicated for a young man with an old soul, Loki had inadvertently copied something else Jack had had buried deep in his mind as well.

The repository of the Ancients.

Jack had long suspected that it was still there somewhere, that Thor and his buddies hadn’t so much of erased it as blocked it off.

After all, it had made sense. The repository of the Ancients had been a library for craps sake. Jack had just been the schmuck that had done an instant download. Why then, when he had appealed for his help, would Thor have erased it?

He hadn’t. All he did was take that knowledge offline, so to speak, giving Jack some much needed relief.

Jack O’Neill was just as good a place as any for that knowledge – assuming he stayed alive, that was.

So Jack had gone on, pleased that he could not access any of that knowledge anymore, and Thor still had his library hidden from prying eyes.

And then Loki had made a copy, and being unauthorized, and unaware of the blocks Thor had placed, Loki had copied everything, down to the last byte, or whatever the Asgard called it.

And that sudden rush of knowledge had almost destroyed the young Jack.

Two things had saved him.

One was the fact that the new body he had inherited was still growing, and he was still getting used to it. Hormones alone took up most of his concentration, and because of this, the new knowledge he had inside of him had waited its turn to be recognized for what it was – trouble.

It was only when he realized just how incredibly easy school was did JJ finally realize how much shit he was in.

Deep - damn those Ancients - crapola time.

Try acting dumb when not only did you know more than the teacher did, but most probably more than geez - how’s this for a frightening thought - Carter.

Try acting dumb when you knew the NID might be watching, just waiting for an excuse to whisk you away somewhere the sun didn’t shine – ever.

It had been totally impossible to do, but he had tried.

For months and months he had damn well tried. And failed miserably.

No matter how hard he tried to fail, he aced every subject.

The only thing he flunked, and this was such a relief, was history. Or anything else that was Earth based.

It wasn’t much of a failing mark either, but to his intense joy he had finally found something he was awful at, and the mere anticipation of failing yet another test had kept him going.

Pass, fail, life had become one big cosmic joke.

It was these high marks coupled with low marks that had confused the teachers at first, averaging out his marks to an almost normal level, making him seem like a slightly above average student. (Needs to study more.)

People were fooled. Hell, his teachers were fooled, and that was good. No one noticed good ol’ JJ anymore, and that made his downward spiral easier to do.

No one had noticed except Jack.

Jack the original had seen, and had done something about it.

Jack who had said that he wanted nothing more to do with the copy, and yet kept a close eye on him anyway. He had seen what was happening, and being an older version of the same thing, knew what the end result would eventually be.

So he had done something about it and transferred the Marko family to Colorado Springs.

…

"JJ?"

"Don’t burn out your brain," Leo said lightly when JJ didn’t reply. "Sides, too much thinking is bad for you."

"Tell me about it," JJ muttered, wondering just how Jack had managed to hook him up with one of the most intelligent kids he had ever seen, besides himself, that is.

And how distant Jack had known better than he did that he was about to self destruct.

Yep. JJ had thought that he had known himself, but it had turned out that he hadn’t known himself at all.

Leo had shown him that.

A lot had changed in a year, and for the better, he thought, but every now and then he couldn’t help but turn his head and stare at the distant hills.

Towards Cheyenne Mountain.

…

"JJ, enough already." Leo was losing patience.

"Helloo?"

A hand came up and tapped him on the side of the head.

"You in there Jon?"

"Don’t call me Jon," JJ said automatically, earning him a close up view of a row of shiny teeth. "Geez, he said, recoiling. "If you wanna know where your college education is, check out those incisors."

Leo leaned back, unperturbed by the insult.

"My momma sez the Air Force can afford it."

JJ gave his friend a smile and headed for the kitchen, all of three steps away, wondering just how you sometimes managed to catch one of life’s curveballs.

Once upon a time he had been a man called Jack O’Neill, part of a team. Now he was just JJ.

It had been so hard to fit in, to be just sixteen again, with the cars and girls and the alcohol and drugs, freely available just outside the schoolyard.

He had tried though. God, how he had tried.

The problem had been the childishness of his new group of so called friends, friends that had no clue as to what he was going through, who couldn’t understand a nerd that liked hockey and beer and never once studied.

No matter how hard he tried he could not fit in, and finally one winters day he had had enough.

Mind on autopilot, he had stolen a sharp knife from the school kitchen and had headed out into the schoolyard, to end the farce his life had become once and for all.

He had never even noticed Leo. He didn’t even know that someone called Leonard Marko had even existed until he heeded him the most, when the pain had been bad and the desire to give up had been strong, and this damn kid just wouldn’t let him go.

Leo the saint had come into his own, and JJ meant no disrespect by that.

It had taken five minutes for JJ to hide behind a snow drift. It had taken eight minutes for him to slit his wrists, spilling his blood into the wet snow, diagonal cuts for the maximum amount of damage. It had taken Leo ten minutes to find him.

By then it had almost been too late, and JJ shuddered at the memory.

"JJ please stop it," Leo said impatiently. "There’s no use in rehashing what has gone before. Look forwards, not backwards."

JJ pulled himself back out of the nightmare with a rueful shake of his head.

"Just remembering how cold I had been," he said softly, watching his friends green eyes darken. "It’s funny. I remember fragments, like the steaming red snow, the flashing blue lights. Principal Norton’s face looking down at me with such concern. And you. If you hadn’t decided to follow me…" his voice trailed off.

"You would have perished, and Marco O’Neill software, the Microsoft of the future, would have perished along with it," Leo said firmly.

"It sounds like a male pimp," JJ said with a laugh, deliberately pulling away from his dark thoughts and clicking on the kettle. He put on a husky voice. "Marco O’Neill at your service. Want straight or kinky?"

"Oh definitely kinky please," Leo said, his eyes bright, earning himself a mouthful of the first soft ammunition JJ could find, the pillow from the sole kitchen chair.

"You know," JJ, said, turning all analytical again. "You were a godsend. It was you who found me, and it was you that insisted that I was a brain, something that I still have difficulty understanding. I didn’t used to be…" he abruptly cut himself off.

"I didn’t used to be this smart," he continued quietly when Leo raised an enquiring eyebrow.

"They say that 20% of the brain isn’t used," Leo said pensively. "Perhaps one of those hard knocks in hockey ratcheted open the door between what you were and what you are now. All I know is that you were the first person I could actually relate to since the Air Force transferred momma here, and you were spiraling out of control."

"But how did you know?" JJ asked.

"To follow you that night?" Leo asked, eyebrow raised.

"Yeah."

Leo gave a small smile. "I’ve been there," he said. "Although never as far as the precipice that you managed to crawl to." He held a hand to his heart. "I don’t like heights, you see."

Leo’s forced lightness was lost on JJ.

"Okay then, what tipped you off?" he asked.

"That you are a genius?" Leo guessed, receiving an affirming nod.

"Purleze." He threw up his hands. "Because I am one too, duh. It takes one to know one."

"Was it something I did?" JJ persisted. "I tried so hard to fit in."

"Yeah," Leo snorted. "Like you hated all music with a beat. Not guaranteed to make you cool. You aced every class you did, including science and mathematics. "Not guaranteed to make you cool. So finally everyone started to avoid you – calling you freaky."

"It hurt," JJ said, staring at the rumbling kettle. "It hurt a lot."

"I know," Leo said softly. "I was in the same boat in Flagstaff, remember?"

"Yeah." JJ said, his smile twisted. "And then you were transferred here. Surprise surprise," he muttered under his breath, thinking of Jack.

"Hey," Leo said defensively. "I can’t help it if my momma works for the Air Force. My family has been shuffled all over the place recently."

"You’ll be staying here for a while," JJ said. "Trust me on that."

"Because of you?" Leo said, instantly tuning in. "Your sugar daddy Air Force?"

He smiled as JJ’s head jerked up.

"Hey," he said defensively. "I’m not blind, you know. You have someone looking out for you, right?"

He waved a hand around the small apartment. "Somebody sure pays for all this."

"I used to have a family," JJ said, changing the subject before Leo probed too deeply.

To his credit, Leo had never asked why JJ was living alone in a tiny apartment when everyone else was still living with their families.

Not Leo. All he had asked was when he could move in, swearing to do the laundry.

"What happened to them?" Leo asked gently.

"They were…taken from me." Jack said. "I’m all alone now."

"Geez that’s rough," Leo exclaimed, one of three brothers.

"However," JJ continued with a faint smile. "I have my whole life to look forwards to now, thanks to you."

Leo had the grace to blush before leaping to his feet with a strangled yelp.

"Hell," he yelled. "Applied mathematics? We’re late."

"Crap," JJ said, reaching for his jacket, all thoughts of coffee forgotten. Since both their IQ’s has been tested and found to be off the chart, he and Leo had been invited to attend advanced mathematical studies at the Air Force Academy three times a week in lieu of school, something they had agreed to with alacrity. So far JJ was acing even those, although Leo was finding things harder going.

"Keys," JJ snapped, leaping towards the door, snatching them in mid air as Leo tossed them to him. "I’ll get the bike, you lock the joint," he yelled, once more reverting to the 17 year old he was still struggling to become.

…

JJ always liked attending classes at the Academy. Maybe it was because he had been there before, or rather distant Jack had. Or maybe it was because the lecturers there actually taxed his brain, unlike school.

Whatever the reason, JJ loved the Academy, and had already signed on the bottom line, intending to go there full time as soon as he were able, thus consigning Marco O’Neill software to the scrapheap of good ideas never fulfilled.

Not that he thought Leo would mind.

He had a sneaky suspicion that the Air Force had gotten to Leo too, after all, they were both what was considered Air Force brats, and the Air Force always liked to keep the brains close to home.

"JJ, Leo!"

They both waved at a silver haired woman close to retirement who was carefully picking her way across the grass towards them.

"Colonel Hales."

JJ skidded the bike to a halt, his face contrite. The diminutive mathematician must have wondered where they had gotten to.

"Sorry we’re late," he said giving her a sloppy salute. "I wasn’t watching the time."

She smiled easily.

"Don’t worry about it JJ. Your father always had the same problem. That and a badass attitude."

JJ froze. He had hoped that Jessica Hales wouldn’t have made the connection. It had, after all, been over thirty years ago that she had taught Jack. Surely in all that time she would have forgotten him?

"You’re his splitting image, you know," she prattled, leading them into the building, leaving JJ in no doubt as to what was to come.

"I didn’t realize at first, but now that I do, I’m surprised that I didn’t see the resemblance earlier." She giggled, a girlish sound for a woman in her late fifties. "Talk about the apple staying close to the tree. Your dad must be so proud of you."

"I’m sure he is," JJ said through his teeth, wishing the earth would just swallow him up.

Fat chance of that happening, and now JJ knew with absolute certainty that he was in deep trouble, and it was all Jack’s fault.

Colonel Hales, whilst being a mathematical demon, was also a gossip, and JJ had no illusions that the news that Jack O’Neill had a son would be all over the Academy by the end of the day. Gritting his teeth, JJ followed her into her office, wondering precisely what Jack was playing at.

He was the one that wanted no contact between them. JJ distinctly remembered him saying that, and yet, seven months later he tells Colonel Hales?

That did not compute, as Leo was fond of saying. And speaking of Leo… JJ risked a quick glance at his friend, noting the clenched jaw and winced.

He was in deep shit.

"Your father is proud of you," she said, pushing the door to her office open. "He told me so."

"He is?" Leo asked politely. He gave JJ a pointed stare, one that JJ instantly deflected by staring at the floor. "I didn’t know that JJ’s father was here in Colorado Springs."

She nodded innocently. "Oh yes, young Leonard. All piss and vinegar… always trying too hard, Jack was," she amended. "At least it paid off eventually, him being a General now."

"He is?" JJ asked, jerking his head up. Jack, a General? Who would have thought?

"Jack is a General?"

Hales looked at him with bright eyes. "He was promoted a couple of months ago. Didn’t you know?"

JJ shook his head.

Her eyes narrowed "You two not getting along?"

JJ shook his head again.

She tisked sadly. "You should really keep in touch. Just because he wasn’t there for you in the early years doesn’t mean that he can’t be there for you now."

JJ nodded, and wondered precisely what Jack had said to this poor woman.

"I mean, using me as a go between isn’t right," she continued, clearing up the mystery. "If he really wants to know how you are, he should just ask you directly, not ask me as soon as you’ve left."

So that’s how Jack was keeping tabs on him, JJ thought, not knowing whether to be flattered or annoyed.

"JJ?" Leo was looking rabidly curious. "Which General is your dad?"

"General O’Neill," he muttered, thinking vicious thoughts. Leo was gonna kill him. Especially seeing as…

"My moms boss?" Leo squawked, looking aghast. "That O’Neill?"

Colonel Hales answered for him, which was just as well seeing as JJ had no idea what to say.

"Of course, young Marko. You have only to look at them to know that they are father and son. The resemblance is extraordinary.’ She reached for her glasses, grabbing a piece of chalk as she did so. "I only wish that the General had had the opportunity to know JJ earlier. It would have helped to know he had another son to continue the O’Neill line after the death of Charlie."

"Who was Charlie?" Leo asked, sending JJ a dirty look .

"General O’Neill’s other son, Hales said helpfully. "He died about eight years ago now."

"Any more skeletons you’re keeping from me buddy?" Leo asked in a low voice.

"I wasn’t here ten years ago," Leo said defensively, wishing that Hales would just shut the hell up.

No such luck.

"Well, you’re here now," she said, patting him on the arm. "General O’Neill isn’t getting any younger either. He deserves to have some family in his life."

As do I, JJ thought, thinking of Daniel Teal’c and Carter. Strangely enough, they seemed distant now, as distant as Jack himself, and he realized in shock that missing them didn’t hurt anymore.

"I’m a different person than Jack is," he muttered half to himself. "I really am." Not quite an epiphany, but it would do.

"Of course you are," Hales sniffed. Her eyes twinkled. "For one thing. General O’Neill would give his right arm to be as smart as you are."

"He’s by no means dumb," JJ said defensively.

"But he’s not smart like you are," she persisted.

"Would he want to be?" JJ countered.

He could do with some more brain cells," she goaded. "Instead he gave them all to you."

"He’s not dumb," he insisted.

This vehement denial made Hales laugh merrily.

"You’re right. He’s far from dumb JJ," she gasped. "In fact, he’s just the opposite, but tries to hide it." She leaned in close. "He doesn’t fool everyone, you know," she whispered, before straightening her back.

Now what could he say to that? ‘Rats, foiled?’

He settled for staring at her dumbly as she spun away from him towards the blackboard.

"Right. Today we will concentrate on Yamamoto’s theorem of parallel number oddities, a theorem I consider one of the sexier ones in mathematics…"

…

"JJ?"

JJ had known the confrontation was coming, and was ready for it, he hoped.

"JJ?"

JJ walked slowly across the exquisite green lawns of the Academy and waited for Leo to catch up.

He had spent the better part of applied mathematics cooling his temper and trying to place himself in Jack’s shoes, a task he found near impossible to do anymore. Try as he might, he could see of nothing else that Jack could have done but to acknowledge him as his son.

They looked alike, spoke alike, and he was now attending the Air Force Academy, (albeit only three times a week), the same Academy Jack had graduated from thirty years earlier.

People talked, and because he coming into being was probably one of the most closely guarded secrets the SGC had, it wasn’t as if Jack could have cleared the air, defended his honor, so to speak.

Knowing this, Jack had then done the next best thing, and acknowledged him as his son.

Heady stuff that.

"Wait up."

The problem with information like that was the fact that Leo’s mom was Col…General O’Neill’s aide.

Sighing softly, JJ O’Neill slowed to a halt and waited for the inevitable fallout.

It wasn’t long in coming.

"You never said that your dad was someone we knew," Leo said furiously. "Why?"

"Because seven months ago he didn’t know I existed," JJ said quietly. "And when he eventually did, he wanted nothing to do with me."

"Why?" Leo asked, all traces of anger dissapating.

"He had buried one son already, I guess," JJ said thoughtfully. "I guess he couldn’t handle having a replacement. And I, well I, ah, couldn’t stand having someone tell me what to do."

"So you both walked away and never looked back?" Leo asked, horrified. One of three close siblings, he couldn’t even grasp the concept of no family.

"No one around to wish you a happy birthday, or …"

"No," JJ said abruptly, sinking to the ground and clasping his knees. "He’s a loner, as am I."

"What about your mother?" Leo asked, sitting next to him.

"I have no mother," JJ said. "You know that."

"Yeah well, you never told me about your father either, so I thought that I had better confirm everything I knew," Leo said, some of his earlier anger resurfacing again.

JJ shook his head wearily.

"I’m sorry, okay?" he said, feeling tired. "It’s just that we made each other uncomfortable."

"So you tried suicide," Leo said, his eyes widening.

"Partially," JJ conceded warily. Sometimes it didn’t pay to have a certified genius as a friend.

"And now he looks after you," Leo said. "The apartment, the allowance…"

That was Air Force money, but Leo didn’t need to know that.

"The bike…"

"The bike," JJ echoed.

Yes, that had been Jack. That JJ knew beyond a shadow of a doubt.

When he had been Jack...

Jack had had that bike in pieces for years.

He had always sworn that one day he would fix it, and one day JJ guessed he had.

The bike had arrived the day he had finally been released from the hospital, unloaded by two reverent garage mechanics who had instantly threatened him with death if he ever so much as scratched it.

It was then that JJ knew for sure that Jack hadn’t completely abandoned him, and the tears had flowed hot – traitorous 17 year old tears.

"I’m right, aren’t I?" Leo exclaimed, taking his silence as affirmation. "Why don’t you try to mend some fences?" he asked in an exasperated voice. "God knows he surely must see some of himself in you."

All of me actually, JJ thought.

"I don’t think that he’d handle it too well, seeing me again," he muttered aloud, wondering if he was right. He had managed to move on, but had Jack?

"Why don’t you ask him?" Leo said gently. "The SGC has a family day soon, and I want you to come."

"Jack won’t be there," JJ said, knowing he was right. Jack hated family days, he always had. They only served to bring up memories of Charlie.

"He will be if my momma makes him come," Leo said firmly. He rolled onto his stomach and regarded JJ closely. "Wow," he said, his earlier anger now replaced by enthusiasm. "Of all the people in the world to have as my friend, I choose the son of my momma’s boss. Imagine that?"

"Yeah, imagine that," JJ said, praying that Leo never found out how that came to be.

"So are you gonna come?" he asked. "They make great dogs," he said helpfully when JJ hesitated.

And then with an emphatic rush, JJ finally knew what he had to do.

"Sure," he said. "It’s time grouchy old Jack realized he has family out here."

"That’s the ticket," Leo said, leaping to his feet with a grin. "Now, talking about dogs…"

…

"Sir?"

Jack O’Neill dropped the file he had been perusing and rubbed his eyes. They had been irritated recently and he had a sinking sensation that he needed an eye test soon. Another sign of old age, he thought gloomily.

"Yes Mattie?" he asked.

"I have scheduled your eye test for 14H00 tomorrow," Major Matilda Marko, said, her face carefully expressionless. "That’s half an hour before SG1 return from GH7 F49," she continued, trying not to grin when he grimaced.

"The geek look is in this year," she said helpfully. "Besides, it’s time people saw you as the intellectual you are."

Jack leaned back in his chair and chuckled.

"Ah Mattie. Transferring you was one of the best things I have ever done," he said. That, and bringing her son to Springs, he thought to himself, wondering vaguely how Mini…JJ was doing.

She grinned. "Hey, seeing you struggle with those reports was heartbreaking," she said lightly. "Besides, I’m a mother, and you can’t fool me, buster."

"How are they?" He had been treated to a full rundown on her family the second day she had worked for him.

"They’re all okay thank you," she said. "Jerome and Elias are still in Iraq, and Leo is still sharing an apartment with his school friend."

"The twins will be home soon," he said hastily, before she started to tell him about Leo’s friend.

"Really?" she said, her face lighting up.

Jack nodded. "We are in need of replacements on two SG units, and I have asked for them personally." He didn’t mention why the SG units needed replacements, knowing that she, as his aide, knew the reasons. If she considered it too dangerous, Mattie Marko would tell him, she was after all, the most forthright person she had ever met.

"There’s nothing like having ones family close to home," she said, her face beaming. "Leo will be pleased too." She reached forwards and gave him a quick peck on the cheek, definitely non regulation. "Thank you," she said softly.

All of a sudden the battle scarred warrior didn’t know where to look, and she stepped back with a smile.

"We have the SGC family day this Sunday," she said, changing the subject. "Shall I clear your schedule?"

Years of habit made Jack shook his head, before he abruptly reconsidered.

"Will Leo be there?" he asked, contriving to look innocent.

If Leo was coming, then perhaps JJ would be too.

"Sure," she said lightly, gathering up the file he had been struggling to read. What she was going to say next definitely needed her elsewhere than in General O’Neill’s office.

"Leo will be there, and so will JJ."

She watched the emotions play across his face as she headed for the door.

"I’ll clear your schedule for the entire day," she said, hand on handle. "After all, family is important, right?"

With that, she made a swift exit.

…

Sunday morning dawned bright and sunny, and completely burnt away JJ’s resolve.

"I can’t do this," he moaned, staring at his lumpy oatmeal. For two brains they sure couldn’t cook worth a damn.

Leo threw a freshly laundered pair of boxers at him.

"Think hot dogs," he said persuasively. "Real food."

JJ was thinking of Jack O’ Neill and what his reaction would be rather than hot dogs, and for some strange reason this thought terrified him - he who had been on many black ops missions…but he hadn’t, he thought, shaking his head. Jack had. He was just a snotty nosed 17 year old kid.

"Okay then," Leo said, Taking his silence as refusal. "Think of it as closure. You have to see him eventually. I mean, Colorado Springs just isn’t that big. Perhaps with people surrounding you things will go easier."

"If he pulls out a gun and shoots me it really will be closure," JJ muttered.

"You think he will?" Leo said, his eyes wide. "Momma says that he isn’t too happy, but surely he’s not that bad?"

"He’s not," JJ said with a sigh. "It’s just my nervousness talking."

"A lot of fathers and sons are alike," Leo said knowledgably. "But at least you have a father, whereas mine ran off when I was twelve."

JJ looked at his feet, suitably chastened.

"And just because he wasn’t there for you when you were growing up doesn’t mean he can’t be there for you now."

Leo leaned in close, literally sitting shoulder to shoulder with his friend, and shared first hand the uncertainty radiating from him.

"You have to do this," he said, trying to give JJ strength. "You have to."

His friend sighed, a deep sigh that shook his entire diaphragm.

"I know," he said.

…

Captain Croucamp had been organizing the SGC get togethers or soirees, as he preferred to call them, for years, but this was the first time General O’Neill had ever graced him with his presence, and the thin man was ecstatic.

"General." He rushed up and took the man, no - the legends – hand, ignoring for the moment the scowl on the face of the ferocious looking African American Major to one side.

"Welcome," he simpered. "It is so good to see you."

"Glad to be here," O’Neill answered, not meaning it for a moment.

Teenagers seemed to be everywhere, laughing and screaming and the thought that Charlie would be fifteen now sent a shaft of pure agony straight though his heart.

"This was a dumb idea," he said to Major Marko, making her frown.

"This disturbs too many old memories."

"So make some new ones then," a voice said from behind him. "I did."

"JJ?" He whirled around so fast he almost unbalanced, making the younger man grab for him.

"Watch it," he smiled, brown eyes in the young face dancing. "The knees, you know…"

Jack wasn’t listening. "JJ?"

The handsome young man smiled a smile Jack knew well, but didn’t know at all.

"In the flesh," he said, the Minnesotan accent softer than his own but still recognizable.

"Hello Jack."

"JJ," Jack breathed, drinking in the sight of him.

He was feeling hot and cold and almost faint. When had Mini Jack gotten so tall…?

"JJ," a familiar voice snapped. Mattie, bless her.

"Help your dad to that bench. Leo, help him."

Yes maam," JJ said, instantly taking Jacks arm, feeling the tremors coming from the older man with something akin to shock.

Yes, he was as nervous as hell, but compared to his older self, he was fine.

"You okay?" he asked, concerned.

"I am now," Jack said, straightening with a relieved smile. "The shock, you know," he said apologetically. "I’m not as young as I used to be."

"So I had noticed," JJ said, his eyes twinkling in merriment.

"Dad?" They had all forgotten the dancing Captain Croucamp. "This is your son? How wonderful."

Jack and JJ both took time out to scowl at the man, knowing that the news would be round the base within the hour, and being as classified as the true story was, no one would be any the wiser.

"Bug off Captain," JJ snarled, immediately making the man bristle in indignation.

"I was never that bad at that age," Jack said mildly, turning to Croucamp.

"Thank you Captain," he said politely. "I’ll call you if I need you."

"You were worse," JJ said, watching as Croucamp tottered off in one direction and Leo and his mom wandered off in another, leaving them alone, well as alone as a General in a crowd ever got.

"When did you get the earring?" Jack asked, staring at him closely.

JJ had been waiting for that question.

"When they let me out of the hospital," he said softly. "After Major Saunders had finished taking my soul apart and reconstructing me, I figured that if I really was a different person, I would damn well act like one."

"But still, an earring?" Jack was having a hard time understanding that one. Self mutilation had never been a big thing in his life.

"Goes with the Bike," JJ said, watching as the shadows danced through the older Jack’s eyes.

"Yeah well, I was never gonna fix it, and riding it at my age... It needed young blood," he said.

"And I am young blood," JJ finished.

"Indeed you are," Jack said, watching a toddler stagger towards a young mother who snatched her up with a laugh.

"You have your whole life ahead of you now," he said, and JJ swore he heard a catch in his voice.

He turned to the older man, noting the new lines of age with something akin to shock. Jack was getting old.

"The bike kept me sane, after… you know," he said, pulling Jack back from his dangerous thoughts.

The older man smiled bashfully and stared into the distance. "I kinda figured it might."

Suddenly JJ needed for Jack to understand why he had done it. Why he had attempted suicide in the first place.

"It wasn’t the memories, you know," he said.

Jack didn’t move.

"They fade after time, overlaid with other fresh experiences."

Jack stirred. "Then what was it?" he asked huskily. "I begged Loki for your life, and you almost ended it."

"It was the download," JJ said.

"The download," Jack echoed. He finally moved, turning and looking closely at the young version of him.

"So I was right," he mused.

JJ nodded. "You were. When Loki…Lets just say the information is still in there, blocked off in your case."

"But not in yours."

It was JJ’s turn to stare away.

"It was hard," he said softly. "Almost too hard, but at first it was lost amongst everything else – the growing up part."

"What do you mean?"

JJ’s lips curled. "Zits and food and food and…thank God for the generous allowance the Air Force gives me."

"The Air Force pays for the pad," Jack said. "I pay for the rest."

JJ’s eyes snapped to the older man, sheer shock in their depths. "You do?"

Jack nodded, knowing what was to follow; he was, after all, an older version of the young man.

"Kinda figured you could pay me back when you turn 21," he said, for honors sake.

"Count on it," JJ said, having no intention of doing anything of the sort. Jack would know that being Jack.

"So, you’re a brain?" JJ’s pet name for himself seemed strange coming from Jack’s lips.

"Uh huh. Both me and Leo. Thanks for him, by the way," he said.

"Everyone needs a Daniel," Jack replied. "I’m just glad you clicked so quickly."

"It was almost too late, but yes, we clicked," JJ said wryly. "Where is Daniel by the way?"

The innocent throw off question wasn’t lost on Jack.

"The gang decided that I should meet you alone, but they do want to see you later. And Leo, if you want."

He wanted. He definitely wasn’t ready to face pieces of his former life without backup. Not yet.

"Do they know…?" Jack nodded when JJ’s voice trailed off.

"The official version is that you are my estranged son," he said. "Carter should be organizing the paperwork as we speak."

"Oh the power of being a General," JJ murmured.

"She’s a Colonel now," he murmured, pride in his voice. "In charge of SG 1."

"You sleeping with her?" JJ asked, needing to know.

"Hush pup." Jack said, but the color staining his face gave him away.

"Good," JJ said, really meaning it. "She’s too old for me anyway."

"You don’t mind?" Jack asked, relief in his voice.

JJ shook his head, watching a pretty girl walk past in an outfit that consisted more lace than material. "What, and miss all this?" he asked. "Hubba."

"You sure?"

JJ nodded, hearing the uncertainty in Jack’s voice.

"I am," he said firmly. "I am not the man I used to be." His eyes met Jacks. "Believe me."

"You are still my flesh and blood," Jack said softly. "That can’t change."

"Yes Dad," JJ said cheekily.

"We both knew that it would come to this eventually," Jack mused. "As you grow, the resemblance between us is becoming obvious, so obvious that even Colonel Hales twigged."

"You phoning her three times a week didn’t help," JJ said lightly.

"I did not," Jack said indignantly.

"Twice a week?"

"Once a week," Jack said firmly, "and that was only for progress updates."

"Uh-huh," JJ said, staring at the various food stands and trying not to let his hunger show.

"You didn’t have to do that, you know," he said.

"An O’Neill with the brain of Einstein was loose in Colorado Springs and I wasn’t to worry? Me?" Jack said lightly. "I still remember Mrs. O’Leary’s cat."

"That was you," JJ said defensively. "I would never have used blue paint."

"Oh?" Jack said, eyebrows raised. "You are part of me. You telling me…?

"Nowadays we use non-toxic blue food dye and take photos with our digital cameras," JJ said archly.

"You are different," Jack said softly, his eyes wondering.

"The same, but different, getting even more different each day of my life," JJ said.

"Huh?" Jack said, genuinely looked dumb.

"Never mind old man," JJ said, making Jack scowl.

"I’m not that old," he said.

"Besides the grey hair," JJ teased.

"At least no longer have the insatiable craving for food," Jack reciprocated.

"Hey, I saw your frequent glances at the hotdog stand," he said when JJ looked wounded.

"You just have the bad knees," JJ said evilly. "I’m gonna take care of mine."

"You have the zits," Jack said just as evilly. "A problem I don’t have any more."

"Don’t remind me," JJ moaned, making Jack laugh aloud.

"About what?" Leo asked. He was armed with a couple of hot dogs, one of which JJ immediately grabbed as if he had been starved for a week.

"Want one?" he asked Jack through a shower of bread crumbs. "…Mmm good."

Jack looked faintly alarmed. "I’m a pizza and beer kinda guy," he said.

Leo sat down next to his friend and regarded the General closely, kicking himself for not seeing the resemblance between them earlier.

Okay, so JJ had blonde hair whereas the General had steel grey hair, but under that, they were identical. They had the same facial features and dark brown eyes and now Colonel Hales comment made sense.

"The apple really didn’t fall far from the tree, did it?" he murmured, wincing as identical eyes found his.

"Do you know what they put into pizzas?" he gabbled, looking for a safe way out. "JJ and I had to do an assignment once and what we found swore us off them for life."

"We did an in depth chemical analysis," JJ said, an amused smile on his face. "Those things are lethal."

"And dogs aren’t?" Jack said incredulously.

"Probably," Leo said, shrugging. "But we justify them as essential teenage growth food."

"You really are adjusting, aren’t you?" Jack asked JJ, wonderment in his voice.

JJ smiled sadly. "I had no real choice," he said. "It was either that, or death."

"You’re only allowed to try that once," Jack said firmly. "After that fails you have to take charge of your own destiny."

"I’m getting there," JJ said. "The problem is school."

"I had that problem too," Jack said with a grin. "That’s why I’m gonna ask for your enrollment to the Air Force Academy to be accelerated.

For both you and Leonard."

Jack grinned at their bug eyed stares.

"Hey," he said lightly. "It’s not that I like you or anything. It’s just that I’m frightened that you might get bored and make a nuclear bomb or something."

"Nah," JJ said, recovering fast. "Anybody with a computer and access to U239 grade plutonium could do that." He looked at Leo. "A neutron bomb on the other hand…"

"You can discuss bomb making with Carter tomorrow," Jack said firmly.

"Not today?" JJ asked, surprised.

Jack shook his head.

"No, today we have the SGC family day on the go."

"So?"

Jack could see the loneliness lurking deep in those brown eyes, and responded the only way he could.

"The father-son decathlon starts at four," he said nonchalantly, ignoring Leo’s quick grin. "After that I’m gonna be f- …I’m gonna need you to drive me home, okay?"

"Okay."

Jack looked deep into his clones eyes, seeking the man he once had been, and instead, finding someone completely different.

"You sure about this?" he asked.

"Got nothing better to do," JJ said nonchalantly.

"Good," Jack said. "Cos when we’ve whupped the opposition, and you’ve driven the old man home, I really want to know about this earring."

He had the satisfaction of seeing JJ’s eyes widen in alarm.

"Jaaack."

Leo leapt to his feet in search of his mom as Jack asked the next inevitable question.

"You’re not gay or anything, are you? I’m not gay, so, well, you weren’t wired up wrong or anything were you?"

"Jaaaack."

EINDE