By Biltong

" Aww, c’mon Carter, be a sport. Ya know I hate standing in a line on my own. Someone always ends up talking to me, usually the craziest coot in the place complete with the latest conspiracy theory, and when they find out I’m a Colonel, well, I instantly become the enemy, and I spend up being yelled at for the next ten minutes until I’m eventually helped by the teller…"

Major Samantha Carter sighed, gently laying down the double cheeseburger that she has ordered especially from the canteen. 

" But sir, why don’t you use the outside machine?" Her voice trailed off as he shook his head emphatically.

" No way. The last time I used one of those things I was mugged."

" Mugged?" All thoughts of the cheeseburger forgotten, Sam Carter stared at her CO with disbelieving eyes. 

" Mugged…You?"

" Yeah." He looked sheepishly at the floor, not meeting her eyes.

" It was a while ago, and they were…um in their late teens."

Oh this was good. Sam leaned forwards, all ears. " And?"

" It was late a night in the dead of winter, they were armed, I wasn’t. End of story."

He raised his chocolate eyes to her, imps of mischief dancing in their depths.

" Did I mention that they were also female?"

She frowned. " So you did nothing. Just allowed them to take your money?"

Uh oh. The eyes were really dancing now. " Well, not exactly…"

Giving him a saccharine smile she carefully picked up her burger and took a hefty bite. She wasn’t going to ask.

If he wanted her to accompany him to the bank he was going to have to do a lot better than small bytes of information reluctantly given.

" The damn machine had already swallowed my card by the time they decided to act." His smile was wistful as he recollected what had happened.

" I remember it was a really cold that night. The poor things had been lurking behind a silver Buick for at least ten minutes before they decided to act."

He shrugged.

" I was already struggling with the machine, and that,along with my grey hair must have made me a tempting target."

" And you weren’t?"

The Colonel’s eyes cleared and he gave her a quick smile.

" It was almost midnight, the dead of winter, I was tired and the machine had just swallowed my card without giving me a dime. Did you expect me to be charitable?"

Actually, yes she thought, chewing quietly. Children and animals were two of the Colonel’s favorite things. The thought of him harming those girls was ludicrous.

" Well, no," she said cautiously, dabbing her lips delicately with a napkin, giving him the answer he sought, " Damn right," he said, looking so righteous that she almost laughed. She took a gulp of coke instead 

" So, what did you do?"

" Well, they were ragged and obviously hungry, street children through and through. The problem was that one of them was waving an ancient Colt at me, demanding that I give them money from a machine that I couldn’t use. That caused major problems for me."

" I’ll bet." This time she couldn’t quite hide the smile, making him frown. " And so you did what?" She prodded gently.

" So, I removed the gun from their possession." He paused to take a sip of what must have been lukewarm coffee, before continuing.

" You should have seen their faces. I tried to be as gentle as I could, but they were waving something lethal in my face after all, so they got slightly bruised in the process. It was then that I discovered that the gun was so rusted that if the teenager that had it had tried to fire it at all, it would have taken her wrist off."

" Ouch."

" Yes, ouch. I then withdrew my personal Beretta and ordered them into the back of my truck."

" How did they take it?" Sam asked, reaching for her yogurt.

" They were terrified. Scared out of their skulls, especially when I used my cell phone to call the local cops. But, Carter, I had no real choice."

Sam felt upset. He had another choice. Why didn’t he use it?

" You did have another choice. You could have let them go."

" Oh no, I couldn’t do that." He sounded horrified at the mere thought. "If I had let them go. They would have been raped and killed, or even worse, been drug addicts. By having them arrested I kept them off the street until I could do something."

Aha, the muddy waters were beginning to clear slightly. She decided not to ask why he considered being a drug addict to be worse than being dead. That could wait for some other time, when she was feeling stronger.

" And what precisely did you do?"

" Well," he suddenly rose and went to pour himself another cup of coffee, returning with a smile on his face.

" Well, I found out that they were sisters that had run away from an orphanage together. They had been tired, cold and destitute when one of them, Sally, found the abandoned Colt in a gully. It had been Allison who had hit on the idea of robbing the first person they saw who looked like he was withdrawing money. Unfortunately, or rather, fortunately for them, I was that schmuck."

"So, what happened to them?" Sam asked, trying not to stare enviously at his hot cup of coffee. She was abstaining from caffeine for 24 hours and it was killing her.

" I found them a family." He shrugged modestly at her delighted smile.

" Where, sir? If you don’t mind me asking."

" Like that would stop you."

" True sir."

" Here. I found them a family here."

She stared at him blankly for a moment before realization dawned.

" You mean here in the Air Force?"

" Yep," he said smugly. " I gave them a choice. Join the Air Force or I would lay charges of assault with a deadly weapon against them."

" So, they joined up?"

" Like a shot."

" So, where are they now?"

He sat back with a big grin. "Lieutenant Allison Pratchett is at the Air Force Academy in Colorado Springs, learning how to be a pilot.

Her twin, Lieutenant Sally Pratchett, would have served you coffee, had you actually gone and fetched some, instead of trying very hard to drink mine with your eyes."

Ignoring him, Sam leaned back in her chair and stared towards the coffee urn where a pretty girl was smiling and chatting with her colleagues.

" She is the reason why you would brave a ten minute wait in a bank queue rather than use the machine outside? That I find hard to believe."

Setting her chair up straight she was greeted by a sheepish CO again.

" There’s more to this than two female muggers, isn’t there?"

" Tell me, and I’ll keep you company in the bank. Don’t tell me and…"

" I can’t remember my PIN number." He looked like petulant child, making her smile. " I can never remember my PIN number. Ever."

He threw his hands in the air in frustration. " Hell, I can remember convoluted thirty seven digit codes that can launch ICBM’s at Russia that were deactivated years ago, but I can’t remember one simple six digit code.

That’s why I need your company."

Sam stared at him speechlessly for a moment, then swallowed audibly.

The man was incorrigible. Now matter how hard he tried, he would never change.

" Why didn’t you tell me this in the beginning? She spluttered.

" Sorry."

" Sorry?" She carefully stood. " I will come with you Colonel. After all that, how can I not. But," she held up her hand at his eager expression, " only after I break my vow and get myself the largest cup of coffee that Sally over there has. Okay?"

When he nodded, she headed towards the coffee urn, muttering under her breath.

‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’

Sally Pratchett smiled at the blonde Major, getting a genuine smile in return. She sure was pretty, although Colonel O’Neill seemed to have pissed her off somewhat. Why else would she be muttering the word incorrigible over and over under her breath?

*Einde*

Beta tested by CIGIK

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