The Gou'ald Crone

By Biltong

*Jack once more faces his worst nightmare....

I awoke slowly, feeling numb, beyond pain.

"Daniel, Carter, Teal’c?" They didn’t answer, truth be told, I have a feeling I never spoke aloud.

What had happened, where the hell were we?

Why were my arms on fire? Why were…? Let me open my eyes and find out.

" Back with us, Tau’ri?"

Oh crap. Now I remember. P8U N1H.

Dammit.

Why don’t I ever remember the designated letters of a planet unless I’m faced with imminent death?

P8U N1H. A medieval planet. Not that I had ever seen any of the local population to confirm that. Hell no. The only people I had the misfortune to see on this planet happened to have snakes hidden somewhere on their bodies.

Dammit, why does this always happen to me?

====================================================================================

" Wow, this is interesting, a medieval system using runes as an official language. Cool," Daniel said, casting a sideways glance at me. He had picked up that expression from Cassandra when we had last visited, and used it frequently, much to my irritation.

Carter was carefully quartering the area, oblivious to my slit throat gesture to Danny, and his corresponding cheeky grin. " Sir, I’m getting faint traces of Naquadah coming from somewhere around us," she eventually commented, saving Danny Boy from a tongue-lashing.

" Good work Carter. That means this mission isn’t a total bust after all. Come kids."

Lifting my pack, I spoke to the fourth member of our group.

" Teal’c, I’ll take point, you take six."

The ebony Jaffa nodded gravely. " As you wish O’Neill."

The place seemed very like earth. The foliage was lush, and far in the distance I could hear the burble of a stream, and most importantly, the gravity was almost earth gravity. Always a welcome feeling for me.

" This is really nice." Carter said. I cast a sideways glance at her, noticing the pleased smile on her face.

" Don’t get too carried away there, Carter," I cautioned. " It may feel like a perfect spring day in Colorado, but it’s not." I gestured towards the distant village. " For all we know, the whole village could be full of hostile Jaffa…"

Me and my big mouth.

====================================================================================

" Oh Tau’ri… Don’t die on me yet. We still have fun to have before I take you as a host." The voice was sweet, cloying. When I didn’t answer, or even look up, my chin was roughly grasped by a claw-like hand, forcing me to look up into cold green eyes.

" Who…" My tongue felt thick in my mouth, unsurprising really as this particular Gua’old was hell bent on crucifying me. Really.

" Oh no. You can find that out when we are joined, in the one exquisite moment you’ll have left before I destroy your will and make you mine."

Not again. Defiantly I lifted my head and glared at her, not an easy thing to do when one is literally nailed to a wooden cross.

I had never in my life seen such an old Gou’ald. She was a tall-emaciated thing with long white hair and dark skin looking like dried bark. She was slowly pacing around me, her eyes glowing, and despite my resolve, my anger snapped.

" Listen, you old bitch," I railed at her. " Better Gou’ald than you have tried before and failed. I will never meekly…Aargh."

Shit. I forgot that she had a ribbon device strapped to one arm.

Slowly I came to, gasping for air through bruised ribs, wondering again if it was simply a case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time, or was I just destined to be turned into a Gou’ald, despite anything I did?

Where the hell were the rest of SG1?

Dammit. It had been such a pleasant morning.

====================================================================================

" Jack, look at this. Daniel’s voice was full of wonder, concentrating on a large monolith completely filled with tiny crowded stick-like figures. " According to this, the people of this planet were sent here by the Gods because they could not be taken as hosts." He gestured towards the writing, his eyes bright. " This is an offering of thanks."

" Interesting," I drawled, intrigued. " I wonder why not." I felt Carter come up and stand next to me. " Any ideas?"

She shook her head. " I’ve never heard of such a thing before, but if the Gua’old can’t take them, then they may have a very powerful weapon for us to use."

Teal’c? I turned towards the last member of our team and raised my eyebrows.

He shook his head. " O’Neill, I have never heard of a people that successfully resisted becoming hosts."

"Then again,  the System lords would never advertise such a people existing either." I mused thoughtfully, picking up my pack again. " The answer lies in yonder village, I’m sure, so let’s not tarry."

Ignoring the groans from the rest of SG1, I calmly strode off down the path, and straight into a Gou’ald trap.

All I was aware of was a blue sparkle, and then, nothing.

====================================================================================

I slowly became aware of the sound of gunfire, my teams’ gunfire, then the distinct sound of Teal’c’s staff weapon. What the heck? I tried to move, to help, but found myself immobile, pinned under a booted Jaffa foot.

Shit.

Not that that was much of a problem. Years of combat had taught me how to get out from under any person’s foot.

Wiggling my body and using my hands I soon had him on the floor -  ready to deliver a killing blow when a distinctive Gou’ald voice froze me in my tracks.

" Halt, or die."

I halted. Not that I had any real choice, not really. Slowly my eyes scanned my immediate vicinity, noticing the long force field separating me from the rest of my team, before resting on a really ancient Gou’ald and four Jaffa, one of whom was at my mercy. Unfortunately I was also at the mercy of the Gou’ald, who had a ribbon device pointed directly at my forehead.

" Release him." Slowly I did as asked, noticing my team looking on, horrified, from the other side of the force field. I wanted to tell them something, but I knew that I had to be quick. Steeling myself against the inevitable pain that was sure to follow, I yelled to my team.

" Go, get help. Order. Go…aargh."

My world was slowly being dragged out of me through the light centered on my forehead. Slowly, and exquisitely painfully my awareness was reduced to that soft orange light, until darkness claimed me.

==========================================================================

I awoke to find myself, well, crucified.

At least they allowed me to stand on the ground, not be suspended in the air, like Sparticus was, or Jesus, for that matter. Believe it or not, I was intensely grateful that I had been unconscious when they had driven those large spikes through my wrists. That would have hurt badly at the time. Although…as sensation slowly returned, so did the pain, making me realize that it still hurt, just as badly.

" Welcome, Tau’ri to planet Ozramon." She really was a decrepit old crone.

" Gee, pleased to be here…not," I replied.

She continued, ignoring me. " I am so grateful that you have come. It has been almost three hundred years since I was exiled to this planet of non-humans, making me despair of ever finding another host."

Something wasn’t right. Despite feeling faint from pain and loss of blood I had to ask. " Why didn’t you just dial out and leave?"

She took a step back, looking furious. " Lord Apothis has changed the Chappa’i so that no Gou’ald can come or go anymore." She stepped in close, one nail gently stroking my cheek, making me flinch.

"The people who ventured through the Chappa’i and lived long enough to become my Jaffa have told me of your exploits against the System Lords. When I take you as a host I will send one of my Jaffa through to tell him the news. Apothis will thank me, and I will be once more allowed back into their ranks, as I so deserve."

" Don’t bet on it," I muttered.

Her eyes glowed with an insane fervor.

" With you as a host, I will soon have an army worthy of my status."

Oh damn, another one hell-bent on taking my body without my permission.

"Not a chance. I would rather die than be a host to a Gou’ald," I spat.

Cackling maniacally she took a staff weapon from one of her hapless Jaffa and pointed it at me. " Really?"

Despite staring at certain death, my resolve never wavered. Hathor has been a bit too close for me to ever go there again.

" Really." My voice was flat, emphatic.

All I saw was the flash.

====================================================================================

The pain made me aware that I was still alive. That and the smell of charred flesh.

" Dammit, I howled to the heavens, annoyed beyond belief. " Don’t you Gou’ald ever believe in a clean kill?"

Her expression was vicious. " No, Tau’ri, especially if we have use of you."

" Goddammit. You dried up snakehead bitch, " I snarled, balancing on my good leg, the other one having been fried from knee up by her intentional staff weapons blast.

She merely smiled, watching me closely as the combination of shock; blood loss and pain took their toll. She stared at me silently, an amused smile on her face, until I felt my eyes roll back in my head and I collapsed.

====================================================================================.

I was brutally woken up by her slowly strangling me with one clawed hand. There’s nothing like a distinct lack of air to get one awake, fast.

" Come, Tau’ri, you are so weak, so puny. At least joined with me you can add strength to your muscles." She was leaning in close again, and I attempted to regain my feet defiantly.

" It’s just a pity that you are male. I would have preferred the female, but you walked down the path first. Nevertheless, I will still make maximum use from your body." With horror I felt her hands cup my scrotum. " Once joined, we can take our pick of young maidens, thus ensuring the continuation of the Gou’ald race."

" Never," I snarled, straining for the first time against the very spikes that held my arms spread-eagled. " Never," I whispered, sagging as my strength dissipated, wondering if I could actually will myself to death.

" You are ready." I became aware of her assessing gaze. " You no longer possess the strength to resist me." She clicked her fingers at the silent Jaffa.

" Lay him on the ground, next to me." I watched, horrified as she carefully lay back on the dusty ground, her eyes never leaving mine. Then the Jaffa pulled out the spikes and I collapsed, my traitorous body unable to do anything else. I became aware that the silent Jaffa were carefully arranging me on my back next to her.

Then I heard a sound I had heard once before in my life, one time too many. The distinctive hiss of a mature Gou’ald.

I shut my eyes, waiting to be possessed.

Sam, Daniel, Teal’c. I’m sorry guys. Just kill me quickly the next time you see me, because I won’t be me anymore....

==========================================================================

"Colonel!"

Suddenly the earth around us erupted into a mini dust storm as bullets rained down, hitting me twice, not that I cared. My attention was focused only on the distinctive hiss as the Gua’old rapidly covered the area between our bodies.

Sorry guys, a valiant try, but not good enough.

Then a shadow stepped over me, dark as night and I heard the distinctive thwock of a machete blade in use, silencing the Gou’ald’s hiss.

" O’Neill?" Then I heard him mutter in dismay. " O’Neill, you are safe now." I felt myself being gingerly lifted my powerful friend before he set off towards the gate at a fast jog.

" Teal’c what?" I heard Daniel ask, then, " Oh dear Lord, what did she do to him?"

Then we hit the cold confusion of the wormhole, and home.

====================================================================================.

" Colonel? Hold on Colonel, you’re safe now." Someone was yelling in my ear as I felt myself being rushed towards the infirmary.

" What we got?" Someone asked, probably Dr Warner.

" Massive blood loss, blunt force used on his wrists, breaking both, and to the chest, we think with corresponding rib damage. Bullet wounds in the shoulder and neck, and burns to the forehead and thigh." The paramedic paused for breath. " All in all, a pretty sick puppy, but at least we got to him before the Gou’ald did."

" Before the…?" A familiar female voice exclaimed. " Ah, forget it, that can wait for another time, we’ve got more important things than that to worry about right now."

I felt a needle slide into my vein, suffusing me with warmth, and a tiny hand gently touched the top of my head.

" Sleep now, Colonel," Janet whispered. So I did.

==================================================================================

" Jack?"

"Uh?" I felt warm and safe, something not lost on me. Somehow my team had rescued me, again. Drawing in a deep breath, I held it for a moment, hearing the corresponding squeal of some sort of machine. Okay, home and in the infirmary. I should have known. Now all I need to do is figure out what happened. Piece of cake.

" Danny, what happened?"

I opened my eyes to see him leaning over me, his eyes concerned behind his glasses.

"We rescued you from that Gould bitch, don’t you remember?"

Oh shit yes, I did. That had been a bit too close. Way too close. I felt myself shudder as awareness crept back in. Oh God, that had been way, way too close. I was vaguely aware of my heart monitor beginning to scream, causing people to rush to my side.

" Doctor Jackson, please." He was replaced by a white form that leaned over me, pulling on my arm. Darkness.

====================================================================================

When Daniel came to visit me the next morning, I made an effort to look bright and serene, something I had done since 08H00 since that shrink thing called MacKenzie had paid me a visit. I had awoken slowly, vaguely remembering what had happened the night before, only to see him perched on the side of my bed, prodding my shoulder in an imperious manner. It was then that I discovered that both my wrists were broken, luckily for him.

There have been some hard things I have done in my life that I knew were absolutely essential for my career, and that morning turned into one of them. Without Dr MacKenzie’s go-ahead, my career in the SGC was effectively finished.

Schooling my face into that bright and serene look, I listened to him politely. He spoke I answered. He asked, I told him it was classified. He asked differently, I told him it was still classified and to keep to the mission at hand. He glowered, I glared.

Eventually I passed.

" Jack, stop trying to look like Buddha. I’m not fooled you know."

" Danny, do me a favor, never speak to MacKenzie, okay?" If Danny ever spoke to MacKenzie, I would be in a rubber room for the rest of my life.

" Huh?"

" Never mind. Suffice it to say we had a charming conversation this morning, way before you decided to crawl out of bed and visit me."

He raised sandy colored eyebrows. " Testy this morning, aren’t we? What did he do, threaten to take your toys away?"

I glared at him. " For your information, it is now afternoon, and he tried, but failed."

" Understandable. You are the only person I know who can fake tranquility, and get away with it, like now." He leaned forwards, his face intent. " But I’m not fooled, nor is Janet.

Suddenly I was furious. The words spitting out of my mouth like machine gun bullets, hard and accurate. " What do you want with me?" I yelled, uncaring about who overheard. " My heart on my sleeve?" I glared up at him, his soft eyes and caring, his expression somehow making me livid. " That’s your type of thing, not mine, Danny boy. Sorry, but I don’t do tragic heroine. I’ll never ever do tragic anything."

His eyes turned to stone. " Why should you when you do Colonel Jack O’Neill so well. Solid dependable and a downright lie?"

I sat bolt upright in bed, uncaring about the pain this caused me. " What do you want from me Daniel?" I was aware that I was shouting, and of Doc Fraiser herding her nurses out of the infirmary, but was beyond caring. How dare he? How dare the one person I called my best friend insult me like this?

" How dare you," I hissed. " How dare you tell me that my life is a lie? I have survived, Iran, I have survived Iraq. I have survived Hathor and I have damn well survived this." I glared at him, hating the easy way in which he was standing at the end of my bed.

" What have you survived, mister high and mighty Doctor Daniel Jackson?"

He contrived to look surprised. " Me?" Well, let’s see. Me, I’ve survived Jack." His gaze was direct, penetrating my soul. " The real one. The hurting one. Not Colonel Jack O’Neill everyone sees on base, but plain old Jack."

He gave me a long look, waiting for a comment that never came.

" I have survived the real Jack O’Neill, the one who screams at night whenever I stay over, swearing over and over again, whimpering all night in languages I wish I didn’t understand, but do. A lost and hurting soul simply called Jack telling me things that I never want to hear again, things that leave me shivering and weeping quietly in my bed in the early hours of the morning wondering how he ever stayed sane."

He paused for breath, and then continued before I could stop him. " You ask me what I have survived? Well, I survived the wisecracking asshole that pretended that Hathor’s snake was immaterial, then screamed each night for a week before finally coming to terms with what happened. I think. I survived all that and more."

He leaned forwards, his face like granite.

"Now it almost happened again, and this time Jack, I will not idly stand by and do nothing whilst you suffer again."

He sat down at the edge of my bed, looking at me warily, his face exhausted.

" This time I don’t want to be a survivor," he whispered. " I want to be a confessor, someone on whom my best friend can lean on, as best friends do in times of extraordinary angst."

At long last he fell silent, just looking at me, and despite myself my eyes filled with tears. How could I be so lucky as to have a friend like him?

I leaned forwards, sobbing like a baby, totally lost in memories, in the raw horror of what might have been, and felt him embrace me, allowing me to cry out my anguish. Slowly I told him everything, what had happened, how I felt and what I feared, allowing him to totally draw me out until I was completely spent. Then, exhausted beyond belief, I felt him lay me down where I instantly fell asleep.

==========================================================================

" Good morning lazybones." I cracked open an eye and glared balefully at an indistinct figure for a moment, wanting desperately to rub the gumminess out of my eyes and finding it totally impossible with both arms in casts.

As if in an answer to my prayers a warm cloth was wiped over my face, refreshing me considerably.

" Thanks Doc," I said, making her smile as she returned the soft flannel to the tray and walked away.

" Hi guys." Teal’c nodded and Daniel grinned. " What’s up?"

Daniel’s grin got wider. " Not you, that’s for sure."

I gave him a mock glare, feeling better than I had for ages. It was if the pain of that latest mission had somehow dissipated. Hell, it felt as if the pain of the last few years was lighter as well, thanks to an extremely selfless friend called Daniel.

" Not yet I’m not. Gimme a week and I’ll be raring to go."

Teal’c looked down his nose at me. " Knowing what I do about Tau’ri physiology, I doubt that, nevertheless, if you are indeed, as you say, raring to go in a week as you state, I will meet you in the gymnasium for Nigo’ah’ot’al at 04H00 as usual."

I stared up at Teal’c uncertainly. Nigo’ah’ot’al was the three hundredth and thirteenth discipline of a Jaffa training ritual, the last a Jaffa can take to become a true first prime to anyone. It had taken me years to get to that level. And Teal’c figured that I would be ready for a refresher course in a week’s time? I stared at him, wondering if he was joking. He didn’t seem to be, but then, that crone had taken me down rather easily, something he must have picked up on.

" I suppose I should have a refresher course," I said , suddenly bitter, ignoring Daniel’s frown. " I didn’t do too well on P8U N1H as I recall."

That got a surprised expression out of both of them; from Daniel because I remembered that damned planet’s name and Teal’c, well, I hadn’t a clue.

" O’Neill, even master Bra’tac would have found himself in difficulties in a similar situation." Teal’c shook his head, his eyes dark. " No, I was merely observing that if you were to heal so rapidly, you would be more than welcome to join me."

" That won’t be possible," a steely voice said from further down the infirmary, from Dr Fraiser’s office to be precise.

She emerged, her face thunderous. " Colonel O’Neill will leave the infirmary when I say so, whereas I will send him straight home. He will not under any circumstances take part in any kind of physical exercise."

She glared at the hapless Jaffa, who towered over her. " Am I clear?"

He bowed, totally cowed.

" Damn, I should have used you against Apophis," I said, suddenly feeling completely drained of energy. " He’d still be dead."

She snorted, and then looked at me closely. " Feeling sleepy are we? " I stubbornly stayed silent, making her smile.

" Gentlemen, you are not to return until Major Carter returns from PH5 J98 with SG2, which is some time tomorrow I believe?"

When they nodded, she started to usher them towards the door, only to have Daniel stop suddenly and have a quick word. Then he was back, his face worried.

" Will you be okay."

I nodded calmly. " I will be now, thanks to you." I stared up at him, noticing the smudges under his eyes denoting sleeplessness. " And you?"

His smile was wry. " I’ll live with it," he said slowly.

I stared up at him, fighting to stay awake. " Thanks Daniel," I said. " Thanks for…"

He stopped me with a gentle hand on my arm, above the plaster. " My pleasure." The wry smile was back, making me scowl suspiciously. " What."

" I know for a fact that I helped you last night, even more than you realize."

"Why is that?"  I asked.

He moved towards the door, his smile still in place. " Think about it, especially the language you used."

With that parting shot, he was gone, leaving me alone with my thoughts. What exactly did I say last night?

He was right though. I hadn’t felt so mentally unburdened, if you could call it that, in years, which really bought home the truth in the cliché "a problem saved is a problem halved".

 Hopefully Daniel could deal with his share of O’Neill angst. Somehow I thought he could. Our Danny is a strong boy.

What did he mean by the language I used? I thought back to the night before, me yelling, him responding, finally me breaking, something I had never done before, even in the darkest days inside Iraq. It was then that I realized what he meant when he said that he had helped exorcize the demons. He had. More so than I had ever realized.

" Holy Shit," I muttered quietly, earning me a glare from Fraiser.

My confession to Daniel had been entirely in Arabic.

* EINDE*

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