By Biltong

" Leave… me down here. Stay up… there, stay hidden. They will show, and when they do…get them."

I looked up into Carter’s stricken face, seeing her expression change as she realized the logic of the situation.

Her voice floated down to me, soft but tempered with steel, like her. " Yes sir."

When her head disappeared, I tried to make myself more comfortable.

" Aargh God."

I couldn’t help moaning aloud, hopefully quietly enough so that Carter didn’t hear me, she had enough on her plate without worrying about a slightly used commanding officer.

I’m using myself as bait in order to trap the rest of SG1. I would have laughed if I were capable of doing so. How the hell do we manage to get ourselves into these really complicated messes?

Shit, I’m cold, not surprising seeing as I am half lying in a stream. I know for a fact that my arm is broken, and probably my leg too. I hit the ground with one hell of a thud, thanks to Teal’c.

Thank God that the ground was soggy, if it wasn’t I would have been a hell of a lot worse off than this.

So, here I am, tired, cold, winged, using myself as bait to lure Danny and Teal’c out of their hidey hole so that Sam can zat them, hopefully before one of them can turn me into the late Colonel Jack O’Neill.

They have been infected with something similar to nich’ta; that drug that Seth used on his followers a century or so ago back on a place called earth. It can’t be the same, because the original stuff didn’t work on Teal’c, besides, Selmac said that once exposed to that stuff we were immune, and there might be some things I actually trust about that slippery Tok’ra.

So, whatever substance that particular Gua’old artifact had hidden inside ready to infect us was a slightly different version.

Notice that I said us, did you? S’Right, I was infected too.

Thank God, or lucky planning, that I had left Carter back at the Stargate, just in case. When she had no response to repeated hails she hiked to find us. She should have gone through the Stargate for help, but was feeling frisky, so she said.

I must ask her what she means a bit later, assuming that an altered Teal’c doesn’t turn me into a well-done steak before Carter manages to zat him.

It was just my good luck that Carter managed to find me first. As good as I was in that mountainous terrain, she was better. I blame that on the drug. She just popped up from nowhere and zatted me before I could say a word.

Did I mention that a zat blast really hurts? Probably not. Well, it does.

Needless to say, as soon as I came to, I realized that I was no longer drugged. Wonderful.

Shakily regaining my feet, I explained to Carter about that temple and that Gua’old- like doohickey that Daniel just had to touch, despite my repeated warnings about doing precisely that on nearly every mission we went on.

Did he listen? Did he hell. He picked it up, he shook it, and then he dropped it.

The next thing I knew was Carter standing over me, looking like a military version of that Laura Croft person.

Being a leader and having others expect me to lead, I hit on a fantastic plan, one that I’m sure that Major Carter wouldn’t have thought of in a million years. I decided we had to zat them. If it worked on me, then it would work on them, or so my theory went.

The hunt was swift and furious. Tracking them was easy. Teal’c knew how to move through a Jungle-like terrain without leaving a trail. Thankfully Daniel did not. Then to my delight we hit a sort of ravine. A quite deep gully led down to a small sparkling stream. I stopped, awestruck, admiring the view, before my Jack side decided to strangle my poetic O’Neill side, bringing me back to the task at hand.

All we needed to do now was follow the edge of the ravine until we found our missing teammates, zat them and go home. Why do the things that sound so simple never turn out that way?

Motioning Carter deeper into the bushes as my surprise back up, I slowly began to follow their trail. Okay I will never ever be as good as Teal’c, but I’m not bad, even if I say so myself.

There is only one drawback to tracking a quarry. Occasionally one has to walk with ones head down, eyes firmly fixed on the faint spoor. That is the reason why I didn’t see Teal’c until the last minute. That and the fact that he’s better than me.

All I saw was a brief glimpse of his booted feet before they buried themselves in my solar plexus and sent me spinning out into the ravine.

Newton was right. Gravity sucks, especially if you are desperately trying to avoid it.

Man, I hit with a thud that they probably felt on the other side of the planet. Trying manfully to stay conscious, I heard a shout of laughter before they crashed off into the greenery.

‘Sir?" I was so pleased with myself that I stayed awake; that was until I saw the watch on my skew arm. Ten minutes? Shit.

" S’Okay Carter, I’m okay…sorta."

" What do we do now sir?"

" Leave… me down here. Stay up… there, stay hidden. They will show, and when they do…get them."

I knew that they would be back, either Daniel or Teal’c. Hopefully both.

For some miracle my zat had stayed in my belt. I actually don’t even know why we even took them this trip; it just seemed like the right thing to do. A cosmic nudge maybe?

Whatever the reason I was grateful to have it. Gritting my teeth against the agony any sort of movement caused me, I eventually managed to clutch the zat with my left hand. Not the best arrangement, but it would have to do.

Carters soft hiss confirmed what I already knew. They were coming.

Laughing and mumbling like deranged animals, they staggered towards me, Teal’c struggling to aim his staff weapon at me.

" Die Tau’ri."

" I think not."

All I could aim at were his feet, my arm wouldn’t lift any higher, so taking a deep breath I pressed the trigger on the zat, praying that Carter would have the foresight to take out Daniel.

She did.

I lay there as blue electricity enveloped them, sending them crashing to the floor.

…..........................................................................................................................................

" Oh, boy. What happened?"

" We appear to have been hit by…O’Neill, are you injured?"

I looked up at Teal’c, noting his confused features.

" Jack, what the hell happened, and who did this to you?"

" I slipped." I noticed Carter skid to a halt next to Daniel and continued.

" I slipped. I was so intent on tracking you down and neutralize the drug in your system, I just didn’t see the ravine in time."

My eyes met Carters as she carefully rolled me onto my back. They needn’t know what really happened, I didn’t need their guilt. And if General Hammond ever found out that I had used myself as bait in order to entrap them? Well, I’d rather not think about it.

" He was clumsy, something that we don’t usually say about Colonel O’Neill." Her voice was sweet as sugar, making me wonder if she would demand a dinner somewhere fancy for her silence. Probably.

I ignored the strange tightening in my gut that thought caused me, putting it down to Carter and her ministrations.

" Glad to have ya back. All’s well that ends well," I muttered, avoiding her amused glance. " And carefully putting clichés aside, help me up so that we can blow this Popsicle stand."

Ignoring Carter’s protests about stubborn Colonel’s and broken bones, they did.

* Einde*

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